Page 211 of Boy of Ruin
I don’t let go though, because I need him dead.
He has to fucking die.
Something in Sid’s face gives, like I can see the relief flooding through her.
But she darts her gaze to him, and I do, too. See he doesn’t move. He’s too weak to do a fucking thing.
“Let go of him,” she pleads again. She hasn’t moved the gun from my head. “J, if you love me, let go of him.”
I don’t want to.
I don’t want him to live.
I don’t want him to get her.
But I think about him standing in front of Maddox, between me, her, and the gun.
My chest tightens. I swallow down a lump in my throat.
And after a long, long moment, I slip the bandana from beneath Lucifer’s neck and stand, pocketing it.
“Lucifer,” Sid whispers, letting the gun clatter to the floor as she crawls over him.
My stomach heaves.
Not just because of that.
Because there’s blood.
There’s blood on her inner thigh, I can see from here, her body over his, her ass in the air.
“Sid,” I choke out, and she glances over at me, her hands cupped around her husband’s face as she sits on his chest. “Sid, are you bleeding?”
She swallows, her face pale, flecked with blood from Maddox.
And as she reaches a hand between her legs, I hear the last word Lucifer tried to say.
“Lilith.”
I dream of them both.
Jeremiah is darkness. Cold fury. But I’m burning up, and his arms around me keep me grounded, keep me from turning to ash completely. He’s been there since the beginning, hurting me. Saving me. Always both at once, never one without the other. I didn’t know, for a long, long time, that the things he did to me were to keep me safe.
But he’s never quite been able to keep me safe from his own hands. His own corrupted mind.
Lucifer is hell. Hot fire, burning every inch of me, keeping my own fire going inside of me. He fans the flames like my own personal demon. Satan himself, holding my hand as I turn into his Lilith, creating chaos and havoc wherever we go. With each other, always keeping the blaze of our misery alive together.
We’re all the same, the three of us.
Born from demons, haunted by devils.
Our minds are black rot, our souls poisoned before we could even talk.
We didn’t have a choice in the evil we became.
And I never had a chance to not love them both. Brothers forever at war, I only wanted to be the white flag.
But I’m not that.
