Page 110 of Boy of Ruin
She closes her eyes, tight, reaching for her face again, and I think I see a tear streaming down her cheek.
Good.
I’m not fucking playing with her.
I don’t wait for her to recover this time. Instead, I reach down and grab her hand away from her cheek. She looks up at me with defiant eyes, tears streaming down her face and her lower lip trembling.
I flip her palm over as I step even closer.
“You see this?” I tell her, showing her the inside of her own hand as I run my thumb down her fucking scar.
She swallows, eyes flicking to her hand, then back up to me. She nods slowly, and I see the apprehension in her eyes.
I fucking like it.
“This doesn’t mean shit to me,” I tell her, digging my nail into her palm and hearing her gasp, her face blood-red from my hand. “This doesn’t mean shit to me, and it doesn’t mean shit to you either, you got that?”
She doesn’t answer me.
I step closer, lift my knee so it brushes against her tit, her hard nipple on my skin. I think she gets my threat.
She closes her mouth but nods, her eyes wide and glistening in the rising sun.
I press against the scar with my thumb, my stomach twisting with the reminder of what it is.
Coagula. To bind. But we didn’t need blood and a scar. She was mine before she could fucking talk.
“Lilith and Lucifer,” I whisper, mocking her. I see her jaw clench as I circle my free hand around her throat, cocking my head to stare down at her. “Fucking bullshit.” I drop her hand, grab her by her throat, force her to her feet before I shove her against the glass door at her back with a thud.
Her hands come to my forearm, her breath leaving her in a rush. She still looks scared, and I like
it.
I trace her lips with my thumb, smirking at her. “You know that was all bullshit, huh? You know the only thing that matters is my fucking name carved into your body?”
She swallows, hard, heavy pants leaving her full, pretty mouth.
I step closer to her, getting in her face. “You know you were never meant to be with anyone but your big brother, right, baby?” My fingers dig deeper into her skin, but she loosens her grip on my own.
Almost as if she wants me to choke her into unconsciousness. As if she fucking wants me to kill her.
I don’t want that.
I want her to see all the ways she’s fucked me. All the sins she’s committed against me. All the ways she’s fucking tore me apart, but I don’t really wat to hurt her.
I loosen my hold and she sucks in a breath, sliding her hands down my arms, over my shoulders, kneading me. Hanging onto me.
“Yes,” she breathes, nodding. “Yes.”
My heart swells, blood heating as I press my thigh between hers. She gasps again, her cheeks flushing, one still carrying the redness of my hand against her face.
“All those times you talked back to me? All those times you fucking hated me? I know you wanted me to fuck you, just like this, with my hand around your throat.” I lean in close to her, cup her face with one hand. It trembles against her jaw, and anger surges through me. Anger combined with lust, especially as her eyes dart to my hand and I see pity flicker in her gaze.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, baby,” I tell her, my voice deceptively tender as my mouth moves over hers, feeling her soft breaths against my lips. “It makes me want to kill you.”
“J,” she whispers, meeting my eyes again, “you don’t want to hurt me.” But I know she wants me to do just that.
I pull her away from the door only to shove her back again, her head banging against the glass. “I don’t?” I check, because I’m pretty sure I fucking do, too. I trail my finger down her jaw, watch her shudder with my touch. Glancing down at her belly, I’m satisfied to see her eyes narrow as she looks back up at me. “What do you think, huh? You think we should end this shit, start all over? Let me knock you up.” I step closer. She can’t move. With the way my fingers squeeze around her throat, she can’t fucking breathe.
