Page 54 of Boy of Ruin
She was screaming my name.
She’d always craved freedom.
I’d always craved her.
But that day, the day we got pulled apart…she was desperate for me, scratching at the face of the man who pushed her back into the child service’s building.
Funny how we always want what was right in front of us that moment it’s too late to fucking have it.
But me? I knew I always wanted her. I’d tried to run to her too, but they bound my hands. Covered my mouth.
Shoved me in that fucking car.
I close my eyes tight with that memory, let it pass before I open them again.
I wish I could obliterate all of those things from my mind. Scrub them free of my memory, like I scrub myself raw in the shower.
But I can’t.
I’ve learned to deal. Learned to let that poison seep into my fucking veins. Discovered how to live with the disease of anger. Hatred. Venom.
“We can’t keep her locked away for the rest of her life,” Nicolas says, and I disagree, but I don’t speak, letting him talk this shit out. I think he’s fucking Ria. I think that’s why he’s suddenly so concerned with what happens to her.
He’s bought into that great lie. If you love something, set it free.
Bullshit.
If you love something, put it in a fucking cage to protect it. If it tries to escape, build a better cage. I think about Sid again, her messy brown hair, wide silver eyes.
She’s interesting, in the way she’s petite, slender. As if she wouldn’t put up a fight.
But she’s tough.
She’s been to hell and back, and she came out alive, burning with that fire.
I’ve done exactly the same.
We were made for each other in so many ways.
“We could place a protection detail on her until she graduates—”
“It’s April,” I cut off Nicolas, still harping about Ria. Trying to manipulate me. My emotions. He should know better. I’m better at this game than he is. “She’s missed four months of the spring semester.”
“Her last semester,” he presses, clenching his jaw as he brings his gaze back to me, clasping his hands together. “She’s got…she’s got her whole life ahead of her, J, we can’t just—”
“You know who else had their entire fucking life ahead of them?” I arch a brow, leaning against my desk chair as I wait for him to answer me, a glower on his face.
He darts his gaze to the door, then back to me. After a tense moment, he blows out a breath and runs his hand over his short blond hair, his muscles flexing with the movement. “Look,” he glances at the phone, “you can’t punish the entire world because of what happened to someone you love—”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I brush my thumb over my bottom lip, hearing Sid’s whimpers when she sleeps in my head. I’ve watched her every night. Heard her cries.
I wonder what she dreams about.
Is it them?
Is it…him?
I grind my teeth, my pulse picking up speed. “I can punish the world.” I smooth down my dress shirt, unbutton my cuffs, roll them back. “And I fucking will.” I meet his gaze again. “Is everything packed?”
