Page 150 of Ecstasy
None of this is right.
Didshego tohim? Is that what this is?
But it’s fucking not even six in the morning. And that alcohol, and thefucking needle…
I clench my hands into fists and walk down the hall, forcing my steps to be steady and even. Forcing myself not to run. I can’t run.
I can’t run.
I get to the sliding glass door and neither of them look up. I think I see Eli’s mouth moving, like he’s talking, but I can’t hear what they’re saying.
I realize there’s a small, circular speaker next to Zara.
Music is playing.
I recognize it, because it’s something I introduced Eli to.
Memory, the acoustic version by Dear Agony.
What the hell. What the hell. What the fucking hell.
I reach for the handle of the door, take another deep breath, but it doesn’t help. It feels like all the oxygen has left my brain.
I pull the door open.
Eli stops talking, and he turns to look at me.
Zara picks her head up, frowning my way.
Then Eli’s lips curve into a slow smile. For a moment, I’m frozen by that smile. It makes my stomach churn. I don’t know what the fuck it means.
And then he says, “I was wondering how long it’d take you to get here.”
And I fucking lose it.
48
Zara
Everything still feels strangelywarm and oddly fuzzy, but I sit all the way up as Alex charges at Eli, knocking them both over into the shallow end of the pool.
The creepy music that Eli put on for me is still playing and I can only watch, transfixed as Alex and Eli both go under, and then both pop back up.
I draw my knees into my chest, wrapping my arms around myself. I’m shivering, my nose is running, and I know it’s cold but it’s notthatcold. I know I should yell at them, tell them to stop. I know I should fucking do something, but I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to do and my brain is still trying to process what Eli did. The words he told me before Alex came storming out here.
That he loved me.
That he was sorry.
That we couldn’t do that again.
That he was going to take care of me.
I lift up my hand.
My veins are stark against my pale skin and there’s a slight bruise already, where he injected me with…my brain can’t hold a thought.
