Page 122 of Ecstasy
Jax clears his throat. I glance at him, see his hands clasped together, wrists on his knees. “You’re really drunk, Za. We’re just going to relax, okay?”
My heart pounds out an uneven rhythm in my chest. “No. Touch me. Please.” My voice is hoarse, and my words are slurred, but he knows what I said.
He knows.
I grab his hand when he doesn’t do what I told him to, put it on my belly, where my shirt has ridden up.
His fingers are so warm.
They remind me of Alex.
I try to trail his hand lower, but he stops me. Just keeps his hand on my low belly.
“Zara,” he says softly, turning toward me, keeping his hand right there, right under mine. “I think you need help.”
I close my eyes and groan. “Not you, too,” I say, annoyed. “Not you. You’re my friend, Jax. You’re my friend.” I try to push his hand lower again, under the waistband of my jeans, but he keeps it firmly planted on my stomach.
I clench my thighs together, eyes still closed as I lie on the bed.
“I am your friend,” he assures me, his voice low and soothing. “I am your friend. And tonight, I think you should just sleep this off, okay?"
I let go of his hand and drop my own by my side as I look at him again. His eyes are a dark blue. Like the ocean.
The ocean reminds me of Alex. And his dad. And his mom.
And how he left me.
“I miss him,” I say suddenly.
Jax’s eyes soften. “Who?” he asks quietly.
I stare at the ceiling again, my face flushing. “Alex,” I admit. “I miss him.”
Jax’s hand moves just the slightest bit on my stomach, like he’s reassuring me. “Do you?”
I nod without looking at him. “Yeah.” I bite my lip. “I miss him so much.”
A moment of silence, and then Jax says, “Where’s your phone, babe?”
I pull it out of my back pocket, lifting my hips a little and secretly hoping Jax will move his hand down my pants, but he doesn’t.
I hand Jax my phone, uncaring why he wants it.
He takes it, and I just keep staring at the ceiling. “Was Alex good to you?” Jax asks me.
My lower lip trembles. I nod again. “He was so good.”
Jax sighs. “I did some digging for you.”
My stomach clenches. I don’t take my eyes off the ceiling.
“About that party.” Jax blows out a breath, presses a little harder against my skin, but he’s still so gentle. “I don’t think it was him, Zara. I don’t think he did the bad thing.”
I feel tears well in my eyes. “Me neither, Jax. Me neither.”
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Zara
