Page 86 of Ecstasy
“Yeah,” Zara interrupts quickly, swallowing hard. She’s looking at the floor again. “Mom’s having that stupid—”
“Shit, I forgot that was today.” I scrub a hand over my face. I should remember. Zara sent me a calendar invite one night while Eli, she, and I were in the living room. Eli was on his phone, silent as usual. I made a shitty joke about Zara’s mom, and the fourth fucking husband. I didn’t even know Eli was listening.
He’s still staring into the fridge.
Zara’s eyes are flicking from me to him and the silence in the kitchen is weird. I clear my throat. “I’ll take you,” I tell Zara, and she wrinkles her brow. Like she doesn’t want me to take her.
She shakes her head. “You should be there for your mom,” she says softly.
“It’s okay, I’ll just go down after. I don’t want you to have to go by yourself.” I know she’s pissed with her mom as is about this fourth engagement shit. I know she doesn’t want to go alone. She never really wants to do anything alone.
She glances at the glass on the floor. “No, you really don’t need to—”
“Fuck, Zara, just let me fucking take you.” I walk toward her and it looks almost like she flinches.What the fuck?“I need to get out of this house anyway,” I tell her, my voice lower. “I don’t want to deal with my parents’ bullshit.”
She swallows hard, then looks up at me. “You need to deal with your mom. She’s probably hurting right now.”
Eli clears his throat and we both turn to look at him. The fridge door is still open, but he looks at me when he says, “I can go with her.”
I start to tell him that that’s completely fucking unnecessary, but Zara speaks first.
“Thanks,” she says quietly.
Eli holds my gaze.
I’m torn, because I know Mom willneed me. Even if she doesn’t want me to come down, she’ll want to talk. And if she doesn’t talk, she’ll be using, and I don’t want that.
I clench my hands into fists and turn to Zara. “Are you sure? Look, Za, I really don’t—”
She wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her body to mine.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eli is still watching us.
“I’m sure,” she tells me, her voice low. “I’ll be okay with Eli. Take care of your mom.”
26
Zara
Eli’s carsmells just like him, mixed with leather.
It’s really clean, and I feel dirty sitting in it. Knowing I fucked Alex last night. Knowing I’m wearing the same clothes I was in yesterday.
But as Eli pulls out of his driveway, he grabs my hand, threading his fingers through mine without looking at me.
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, warm butterflies tumbling in my stomach. His side profile is so hot, a straight nose, the slight scruff on his strong jawline. And his fucking lips.
I press my thighs together, force myself to look straight ahead.
“Thank you for taking me,” I say quietly, the music a low noise in the background. I can make it out though. It’s Falling Apart, by CVLTE.
Eli squeezes my hand. “I wanted to be alone with you.”
I feel my stomach flip at those words. “Eli,” I whisper after a moment as he pulls into my apartment complex, the drive was way too short for everything I want to say. “What are we doing?”
He puts the car in park, and turns to face me, still gripping my hand. “What do you want us to be doing?”
I bite my lip and his eyes go to my mouth. Right now, all I want to be doing is fucking him, but I don’t say that. “I…I don’t know,” I answer him honestly. “Are you…did you fuck that girl last night?” I blurt out, even though I know I shouldn’t. Even though I know I don’t get to decide who he does or doesn’t sleep with. Not after what hesaw last night.
