Page 48 of Pray for Scars
She nods, her eyes light up, as if my simple question means I understand what she’s getting at. But I don’t. I don’t at all.
“What does any of this have to do with me?” I ask her, but I look at my brother as I speak. “What doesany of thishave to do with me?”
Silence.
Even Natalie has stopped murmuring to herself, although her head is still in her hands.
“I don’t know!” Ria throws her hands up, and I can tell she’s being honest. “I don’t know, okay? You have to believe that much, okay, Sid?” She starts shaking her head again and then she looks to my brother.
“I know they hurt you, Jeremiah,” she says softly, and I see my brother’s jaw tick. “I know they hurt you, but I didn’t…the boys didn’t know…”
Jeremiah laughs, but there’s no humor in it.
Natalie picks her head up, her eyes wide on the gun.
“Bullshit, Ria,” Jeremiah growls. “He knew. And I know you put that together, too.” He smiles and it’s fucking chilling. Ria backs up against the seat, as if she can put more space between her and my brother. God, I know that desire too well.
“I heard you whispering to that fucking psycho in the dark.”Mayhem.“You knew there was some reason they let me live, after what I did. You didn’t just want his dick, did you? You couldn’t mind your own fucking business, and you wanted answers.”
“What reason?” I ask Ria sharply. “Why? What do you think?”
She crosses her arms over herself, looking as if she wants to crawl inside her sweater and fucking disappear. “I have no idea,” she says frantically, looking at me with pleading eyes as if I can help her. “I have no idea, I just know the 6…they don’t let people get away with something like…” She looks at Jeremiah and her voice softens. “Something like that.”
There’s silence in the car for a minute, and Jeremiah is glaring at Ria while Ria stares back at him.
“Do you know why?” I press my brother. “Why they let you…”
He’s still staring at Ria, hate in his eyes, but he gives me a slow shake of his head. He doesn’t know.
I clear my throat. “Is that…is this all?” I ask quietly.
“No,” Jeremiah answers, his eyes still on Ria. “Tell her about that night. Tell her the fucking truth about Lucifer goddamn Malikov.”
Ria swallows, drops her hands, pulls her sleeves over them. She doesn’t look up as she whispers, “He knew.”
I feel my chest tighten.
“I found out later…he knew that the 6 wanted you.” Her eyes slowly find mine, her brows pinched together as if what she’s saying is actually hurtingher, but she has no fucking idea. “He knew. His father…told him to come after you.”
But no.
I shake my head. “He didn’t know my name,” I point out. He called me Lilith. He didn’t learn my name until Nicolas said it, at Julie’s house. “He…he said he never got it.”
Ria nods. “He didn’t. He knew your face. Your address. Where to find you.” She laughs, and it sounds so out of place in this car. “Lazar Malikov doesn’t like attachments.” She looks down at her lap again. “A name is an attachment.”
I think you’re supposed to come with me tonight.
He had seemed so fucking angry that Jeremiah Rain had fucked me up that night. That he had drugged all of them. That Jeremiah had assaulted me. He was so goddamn angry, but all along…after he’d taken what he wanted from me, he would’ve left me for dead with his father.
“Why do they want me?” I ask Ria, my voice stronger.
“I don’t know, Sid.” Her breath catches as she swallows down a sob. “I really don’t know.”
I glance at Jeremiah, who meets my gaze. “Give me the gun.”
He frowns. “Sid, what—”
“Give me the fucking gun.”
