Page 64 of Break Me
I roll my eyes. “Man, if she wanted to fuck me again, she’d have already done it. She’s been right across the hall from me every single night—”
I don’t see it coming when he slams me up against the windows, but it’s okay because when it comes to fighting, we’re pretty equally matched.
I bring my arms up under his and break his hold on me, then spin him around, grabbing his shirt in my fist.
“Chill,” I say, my face inches from his. “Riley is my friend. That’s it. You need to fucking relax. What you saw this morning was two people being good friends to me, that’s it.”
His hand goes to my throat, but he doesn’t try to choke me. After a moment, we both let go of each other and he runs a hand through his dark blonde hair.
“Any sign of Rolland?” he asks me, smoothing down his shirt and turning to gaze back out the window. I know he’s jumpy because of his dad. I know he wants him dead as much I do. Probably more.
“No, but I’ll find him,” I assure him.
“When.”
I sigh. “Look, man, I know you’re worried but—”
“Worried?” The word comes out choked as he turns to glare at me again. I tense, waiting for him to do something stupid, but he doesn’t. “I’m not worried, Benji.” I watch him swallow. “I’m fucking terrified.”
And then I see her again.
Bianca in the tub, bruises on her neck, her swollen face, tears streaming down her cheeks. I left the Xanax in Briar, trying to do what Ava asked of me, but my fingers curl into fists anyway, on impulse, as if I might reach for the bottle.
But I blink the memory away. Fuck Bianca. Fuck that.
“I know,” I tell him, nodding. “I know. But I’ll take care of it, okay?” I clap my hand on his shoulder and watch him nearly deflate. “She’s going to be okay.”
He looks down at the floor, then nods. “Thanks, man,” he says quietly. We both go back to looking out the window.
I can’t hear the girls downstairs but I know they’re fine. No one knows where Caden moved, and I know he made sure to keep it that way.
“What’s going on with you and Ava?” Caden asks after a moment.
I blow out a breath. “Nothing,” I answer, because it’s pretty damn close to the truth.
“You’ve always been a bad liar, man,” Caden counters without laughing.
I let that accusation hang in the air for a minute before I scrub my hand over my jaw and step closer to the window. “I took her to see Thames.”
I can almost feel Caden tense at my side.
“Why would you do that?” he asks me, his voice dark.
I shrug. “So she knows what she’s getting into.”
“But is she getting into it?”
He always knows exactly the questions I don’t want him to ask. And then he always asks them.
What else are friends for?
“No. She’s not.” I press my forehead against the cool glass. “She’s the daughter of a small, Conservative town’s mayor. Her mom is dying. Her mom has a fucking feeding tube, and she’s dying from cancer. She’s got a whole fucking future ahead of her, even if she hasn’t figured out what she wants to do with it yet.” I straighten and turn to face Caden, who is staring at me. “I don’t have any of that, man. We both know that.”
His brows pull together. “What do you mean? Of course you do—”
“Man, you don’t know the half of the shit I’ve done.” I clamp my teeth together, trying to push back everything that keeps threatening to surface. Everything that’s been building since I found out what Rolland did to Riley. Since he left Toronto. Since I met Ava. Since he threatened her, too.
“I’m a fucking felon,” I point out, forcing myself not to drop Caden’s gaze. I always thought I could face everything I did without flinching. I always thought I’d never regret anything, and I don’t, not really. But I just wish…things were a little different for me right now. “I won’t risk your career by getting into specifics, but I can’t fuck up her life like that. Besides that, she doesn’t want me to. There’s nothing between us. We’re barely friends.”
