Page 60 of Break Me
I stay by the door and watch as Benji takes a step closer to the man, putting his hand on the guy’s foot from outside of the white sheet.
“Morning, Thames,” Benji says loudly.
The guy startles in his sleep, his eyelids flickering until they open, and he looks to me, and then down at Benji. I hear him suck in a breath, and his lip starts to tremble. He tries to wet them, running his tongue across them. They’re cracked and dry.
He fidgets in the bed, as if he’s trying to back away from Benji, but Benji doesn’t let go of his foot. Thames reaches for something beside his bed. It’s got a cord, and a red button. He holds it in a shaky hand.
Benji smiles coldly.
“I’m really sorry to see you like this,” he says, his eyes on the floor as if he’s full of regret. Thames says nothing, but he brushes one hand against the feeding tube down his nose. His eyes are wide and full of fear. I’m not sure he actually can speak. I shrink back against the door to his room.
Benji shakes his head and sighs. He slips his hands into his pockets, letting go of the guy’s foot. A tense second passes, etched out by the tick of the clock above Thames’s bed.
Then Benji’s emerald-brown eyes meet Thames’s own.
Benji smiles. It’s not even directed at me, but I feel the urge to bolt from this room. Instead, I stay where I am. I asked for this.
“But I guess you won’t be putting your hands on Bianca again, will you?” Benji asks, his voice low.
He takes a step toward Thames, who blinks rapidly. Thames presses himself further against the mound of pillows at his back. His trembling hand fumbles with the emergency button.
I realize I’m holding my breath.
Benji’s legs bump up against the bed and Thames presses the big red button over and over again.
Benji laughs and shakes his head. “Sorry, man,” he says darkly. “You’ll have to get a new one.”
Thames keeps pressing the button and I’m surprised an alarm hasn’t sounded. I glance out the pane of glass at my back but see nothing in the sterile hallway.
Benji leans down close to Thames’s face, and Thames stops pressing the buttons. His entire gaunt body is shaking.
“I broke it. Just like I broke you,” Benji whispers. He laughs again. Thames can’t look away. Hell, for that matter, neither can I. “Just doing my monthly drop in to make sure you’re still broken.” He brings one hand out of his pocket and curls his fingers around Thames’s feeding tube.
“Benji...” My voice is hoarse, and I don’t even know if he’s heard me. He doesn’t look my way and he doesn’t put his hand down. Instead, he yanks on the tube and Thames’s eyes clench and then widen, and I see tears there, one falling down his face. He doesn’t make a sound.
Benji yanks again. My stomach churns. But I still can’t look away.
“You miss the taste of real food, Thames?” Benji whispers. His lips are hovering over Thames’s. They’re close enough to kiss. Close enough for Thames to feel every word Benji speaks. “You miss the taste of pussy, man?”
He laughs loudly, almost manically, and it sounds unnatural. Kind of like he did last night, on the floor of Riley’s condo. Out of place in this eerie room. Coming from his beautiful mouth.
“I sure miss the feel of your face beneath my fucking tires.”
He yanks the tube one more time and I turn away as he straightens. I hear something that sounds like Thames’s fists beating on the railing of his gurney, but I can’t watch anymore. I open the door and fly down the hall, taking in nothing and no one.
Benji doesn’t say my name behind me. I’m not even sure if he’s following me. I’m not even sure if I want him to be.
