Page 83 of Let Me
But she’s my weakness. She’s always been my weakness. Ever since my brother started dating her, ever since I saw her fight back against him. Ever since I jumped between them every chance I got, not for her sake, but for mine.
And then the night of that stupid fucking party.
I wanted her. I’ve always wanted her.
The night in the hotel room, that wasn’t the beginning.
It was what should have been the end.
But when I look at her now, across the couch from me, Benji standing behind her, his fingers curled against the back of the couch, all I want is her, still.
I hate it.
She’s poison.
She’s wearing her shorts and tank top again, as if we weren’t both just inside of her. As if we didn’t see every inch of her, feel every inch of her. Thankfully, Benji has his clothes back on—I would have killed him if he didn’t, being that close to her—and so do I.
The tension in the room is nearly palpable, and I’d much rather punch Benji in the face than talk about this, because even though I know I should hate her, I don’t.
But I can’t let her off the hook this easily.
“You’ve fucked my entire family, Riley,” I finally say through clenched teeth. Because it tastes so bitter in my mouth. I don’t want to think about it. But I have to. We have to.
Benji runs a hand through his hair, stepping away from the couch. Something has changed in him, toward Riley. I don’t know if I like it.
“I don’t understand.” I shake my head, put a fist to my mouth. “Why?” My hand falls to my side, and the anger abates, just a little, turning into something worse. Something that pulls at me, something I’ve been trying to avoid: Grief.
“I…” her voice trails off and I see her swallow, because how can she explain it? There’s nothing she can say that will make this go away. I fucking wish there was. God, I wish there was. I wish there was anything to pull us from this darkness. But there’s no saving this.
“You what?” I ask, brows furrowed.
She glances at her hands in her lap, her legs tucked up under her. Benji is pacing behind her.
And I don’t know why that bothers me. His nearness to her.
But I do know why.
And there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s not mine. She can never be mine again. She never was.
“I’m so sorry, Caden, I—”
I shake my head, cutting her off with a glare. I stand up, walking around the table, and squat down close to her. I grab her arm, squeezing her, eyes narrowed.
“You’resorry?”I hiss, my voice low even to my own ears. I stand up, lean in closer, until my brow is pressed against hers and I’m looking down at her. For a second, I see her with my father, and I see her with that guy in the video, and I can’t stand the sight of her. But my grip on her arm tightens, and my vision clears.
“Get your fucking hands off of me.” Her entire demeanor changes. I blink. I let go of her, but I don’t move.
She’s pissed now.
Good. Maybe she can feel a fraction of what I feel.
“My brother put a bullet in his head because ofyouandyou’regoing to act like the victim?”
Her eyes narrow on mine. I remember Benji was all the way down her throat, just moments ago. “Caden, it isn’t what you think. I didn’t send the video.”
This kills me.
I groan, and stand to my feet, my fists clenched. I can’t look at her. Not right now. I look to Benji. He’s watching me as if I’m a caged animal.
