Page 90 of Let Me
“No,” Caden starts to say, but Benji looks at him, cutting him off.
Rolland doesn’t hesitate.
He walks with me forward, the gun still connecting with my head. Fear floods through me at the thought of leaving them, of being alone with Rolland, with no barriers between us anymore. No Adam. No Caden. No secrets.
He’s a murderer. He’s confessed to it.
He has nothing to lose.
Rolland’s movements seem eager, and he shoves me out of the house too quickly. It’s only when we’re outside, the hot summer air alive on my skin, that he lowers the gun.
He lowers the gun and shoves me down the steps. I stumble, falling to the walkway, skinning the palms of my hands.
“You fucking idiot.”
I barely have time to recognize those words aren’t from Rolland when I hear a sickeningthudand something cracks. I spin around, my palms flat on the ground behind me.
Rolland falls to his knees, the gun falls from his hand, and then he collapses, face first, at my feet.
Behind him, Caden is holding a baseball bat, the one that was on the wall above the mirror, and he’s got it raised again. His eyes don’t leave his father.
Rolland moves on the ground, trying to lift himself up.
Benji is behind Caden, shadowing him in the doorway of the house.
Caden takes the steps down, the bat still raised as he watches his father.
Rolland heaves himself up, turning to face his son, his legs sprawled out in front of him. He’s breathing heavily, and I can’t move. I’m frozen to the spot, wondering how far Caden will go.
How far he should go.
Because a man like Rolland is dangerous.
He doesn’t deserve to live.
I want the bat to be in my hands.
“You disappoint me,” Rolland says through heavy breaths. He shakes his head wearily. I can’t see his face and I’m grateful. “Hurting your own father over a piece of used—”
He doesn’t get the last word out before Caden brings the bat down again, straight on top of Rolland’s head. I see blood on the bat.
Rolland doesn’t move for a moment, as if he’s frozen in place, but he doesn’t speak either.
And then, after a breath, he topples over.
Caden hits him again.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Present
BENJI and I sit in Riley’s living room, in an apartment that’s no bigger than my entire kitchen. Which I wouldn’t judge her for. I’ve done far too fucking much of that.
I’ve realized, over the past twelve hours, that I don’t give a damn what she’s done. If she’s fucked every man between here and Toronto willingly. Including my brother.
I still want her.
She’s still mine.
