Page 38 of Let Me
“You’re sick,” I say to Rolland now, whispering the words. Not because I’m scared, even though I am. And not because I don’t mean them, because I do. But because it’s suddenly hard to speak. I stand to my feet. “You’re sick. I don’t want anything to do with you,everagain.”
Rolland doesn’t even look surprised.
He only blinks, shaking his head. “And where, exactly, are you going to go? Can you even afford a ticket back to Hicksville, Riley? Can you even afford a cab to the airport? What can you do without me? You’re trapped here, unless you play nice.”
I swallow and find my throat is dry. We’ve had this conversation before. The initial blackmail, with the threat of revealingwhowas in the video. It’s why I’m here. Why I’ve been flying back and forth for three years. But I can’t stand another second in this city. In this condo. In this room with Rolland Virani. I should have done this a long time ago. I should have cut this off after Jack died. I should have never seen Rolland again after that, but instead, I’d endured his constant summons to Toronto. His constant calls to his side like I was some high-end escort he flew around the globe at his pleasure.
The truth was, we hadn’t done anything since that night. The one on the video.
Not once.
Adam protected me, without knowing it, at first. Which is why I kept him.
Now, I didn’t have Adam.
I didn’t have Tyler either. Or Benji. Or Caden. Or even my mom.
I have no one to help me here. But I can’t do this anymore. I’ve spent three years in Rolland’s pocket, because he had blackmailed me, and in turn, kept his silence. But fuck this.
If it comes right down to it, if this blows up in my face and makes the news, I’ll drop out of school and forget the whole fucking thing. Becoming a professor was always a pipe dream for someone like me anyhow.
I’ll bag groceries for the rest of my life or work the gym or do whatever it takes to get out of this.
Fuck it.
I’m not doing this shit anymore.
“I’m leaving,” I say to Rolland.
I walk past him, into the bedroom, and stuff my clothes in my bag, not bothering with the clotheshekeeps here. I don’t want a reminder of Rolland. And if it’s true, if Caden has a girlfriend, if he might actually marry her, well I don’t want anything to remind me of him either. The faster I get out of his life permanently, the better.
Mom and I have dual citizenship, agiftfrom my American dad. The only thing he gave us before he walked out and left. I don’t need Rolland for that. And he’s right. I don’t have money for a plane ticket. But I’ve got a credit card, and that’s enough. I don’t know what I’ll do if he tells Caden. If he tells the world. If he shows my mom. What Tyler will think of me. But I’ll deal with that later.
I just have to get out of here.
I walk back into the living room, surprised Rolland isn’t where I left him. But completely unsurprised he’s standing at the door, blocking my exit.
I face him head on.
“Move.”
He smiles, shakes his head, and slides his hands in his pockets. “What is Caden going to think?”
My heart squeezes at the words, but I don’t let it show on my face. “Caden wants nothing to do with me.”
He laughs, low and cruel. “Oh, I don’t think that’s true. You’re smarter than that, Riley.”
“He’s seeing someone.”
“Oh,” Rolland says, cocking his head to the side, “so you do care?”
“Move,” I repeat myself. “Now. You’re a smart guy, Rolland. You’ve got a team of lawyers. But if you trap me here, I don’t care who you show that video to. I don’t care who you tell. Because, sure, it might fuck Caden up some more, but really, what’s it matter, at this point? We’re already fucked enough as it is. What’s a little more? But either way, you’d be the only one going to jail.”
His jaw tightens at those words. It’s not the first time I’ve used them to make him back off. The reality is, I don’t want him to go to jail. If anything, I want him dead. But him in jail will just make Caden’s life more miserable, so no matter what I say, I don’t want that for him.
And he won’t go to prison as long as he should.
Because he has resources.
