Page 21 of Right Where I Belong
Sabrina gritted her teeth, controlling her anger. Her mother-in-law, as expected, was behaving irrational and rigid.
Taking a deep, calming breath, Sabrina said, “It’s done, Ma. Ahaan is going to spend the rest of his Diwali break with Aisha and Rithwik’s family in Delhi and Dubai, and after that, he will go for that cricket program in London.”
“Did you not think once of asking me before taking this decision? Also, tomorrow is the fifteenth. Ahaan has to be here; it is his duty as Ajay’s son.”
“Ajay died in February, and we are in November. It’s okay for Ahaan to not be here tomorrow. He is my son too, and I’ve done what was best for him.”
“Your son? Your?” her mother-in-law screamed. “I’m the one who looks after him when you’re out working, which is all the time.”
“And what do you expect me to do? Someone has to put food on the table.”
“If only Ajay was here… He was such a good boy, such a good father. He’d have never allowed this.”
Sabrina’s fury spiked. She hated how her mother-in-law talked about Ajay like he had done nothing wrong. As if he was some kind of a hero and not the reason everything had fallen apart. As if he still had ultimate control and say on everything Sabrina did. He did not. Not anymore. His mother had encouraged his chauvinism when he was alive. And now, even after his death, she refused to see his flaws. She conveniently chose to forget his poker addiction and how it had spiraled into a drinking problem that ultimately caused his death in that car accident. She refused to acknowledge the mountain of debt he’d left behind—again, thanks to his gambling. It was easier, apparently, to live in la la land than face the truth of who he’d really been.
“Ajay is not here. I am. So I will decide what is best for Ahaan. I appreciate your help in looking after him; you know I do. He also adores you and respects you. But Ahaan needs to see the world. He needs to grow beyond these four walls, beyond the rules you’ve set for him. I’m going to Singapore to study, to build a future for myself—and he deserves the same chance to explore. Besides, he’ll be with people who love him. Who’ll care for him and keep him safe. There’ll be no better opportunity than this trip to start teaching him to be independent. To become his own person. And it will make him happy.”
Her mother-in-law’s nostrils flared. “You’rewrongto do this. You’ve no right to separate him from me. He needsme!”
“It’s already done,” Sabrina said quietly. “And I’m not changing my mind.”
The older woman’s voice trembled with fury. “You’re anawfulmother. You sent your son away soyoucan go have a gala time in Singapore.”
Her sharp words stung. Sabrina flinched, but stood tall.
“I know you don’t mean that, Ma,” she said softly. “So, I’ll let it pass. I’ve sent Maya with Ahaan because I don’t want toburden you. She will stay at Rohan’s farmhouse in Delhi while we are away, and Ahaan will bring her back to Mumbai on his return. Also, Diya is in Mumbai, so if you need anything, then she will be there for you.”
“So, you’ve thought of everything.”
Sabrina turned away from her, her jaw clenched, choosing to ignore that barb. She needed space. She walked out of the house, shoulders tight but spine straight, each step deliberate. The air outside felt cooler, lighter. She went straight to the parking, and to her little Honda. She drove mindlessly. She’d expected her mother-in-law to be difficult about this situation, but what she hadn’t expected was for her to be so cruel.
Sabrina sighed. Perhaps, she ought to have explained the situation more gently to her mother-in-law. No, she told herself. She’d done her best. Ajay’s mother would have reacted in exactly the same way, no matter what Sabrina had said.
Nonetheless, it was done. Her mother-in-law’s words spun in her mind. She shook her head. The older woman was wrong. Sabrina was a good mother. She was doing everything she could to give Ahaan a better life, to make him a better person.
A tear slipped down her cheek, and she swiped it away with the back of her hand. More tears followed. God. Some days were just so much more exhausting. She was tired of always putting herself last. Of trying and failing to live up to Ajay’s mother’s expectations. On days like today, it was hard not to ponder and wonder how different her life would have been had she not boarded that train with Dorab all those years ago.
Thanks to her stupidity, she’d lost the people most precious to her. She’d lost her family. Her brothers.
Mihir, Armaan, and Vedant. She’d created a new identity for herself and had become a whole new person. All to keep them safe and untouched by her mistakes.
Karina—the name now felt like it belonged to someone else, someone she could barely remember, much less relate to. Karina had been wild, trusting, and carefree. Sabrina, on the other hand, was none of those things. Sabrina was careful, composed, guarded. She didn’t trust easily. Karina had been a romantic at heart, a dreamer. But Sabrina had learned the hard way that dreaming was a waste of time. In fact, she hadn’t married for love. She’d married for stability and security.
Her hand slipped into her purse, her fingers curling around the familiar leather hilt of the knife, the same one Mihir had gifted her long ago, the same one that had saved her life fourteen years ago. She always had it with her, either on her person or in her bag; she never left home without it. The hilt pressed into her hand, a stark reminder of how alone she was and the burdens she carried all by herself. No one knew her past. Not Aisha, not Ajay. She’d told them she’d been left at birth at an orphanage close to Mumbai. Ajay hadn’t queried her further. He hadn’t cared. And she had deflected Aisha’s questions every single time until Aisha had stopped asking.
Mihir, Armaan, and Vedant. God, she missed them. But right now, the ache of losing them felt heavier. Even in the past, on days when Ajay’s temper had spiraled, when he’d come home reeking of another woman’s scent, or on days when his mother’s disapproval had worn her thin, it was hard not to wonder how different her life would have been with her brothers by her side.
Sabrina sniffed through her tears. How were they? Did they think of her? Did they miss her as acutely as she missed them? On what path had life taken them? Would she ever see them again? Would she even recognize them if she crossed them on the road? Would they recognize her?
Her mind went back to that day in the mall a few months ago. Done with her shopping, she’d been heading to the parking area. Halfway down the descending escalator, she’d noticed anelderly woman on the opposite side, slowly rising toward her. Something about her posture, the sharp tilt of her head, and the furrow in her brow had made Sabrina freeze. Their eyes met. Recognition struck her at the same moment the woman leaned forward and called out, “Karina?”
Hearing her real name said aloud after fourteen years had made Sabrina’s blood run cold. She still remembered the panic that had shot through her, the way her heart had stuttered in her chest. She didn’t look at the woman again. Instead, she bolted off the escalator and dashed out of the mall. Locating her car, she’d started the engine and had driven home in a rush.
Sabrina had recognized that woman. She’d been the matron in the orphanage in Rishikesh. Mrs. Braganza. She’d looked older, less stern. She’d always been kind to Karina and her brothers.
Sabrina exhaled, wondering what would have happened had she stayed and interacted with the woman. What if Mrs. Braganza had been in touch with her brothers? What if Sabrina could have found them through her? Were they safe? Happy? Successful?
She’d replayed that incident so many times in her head, and each time she’d come to the same conclusion. She couldn’t have risked staying and interacting with her old matron. She couldn’t risk Mrs. Braganza telling anyone at the orphanage about her. She couldn’t risk her brothers’ lives, no matter where they were. She couldn’t let Dorab find her. And the cops? Her hand trembled on the steering wheel. No one was searching for her, she reminded herself. She was safe. Her brothers most certainly were safe. They were all survivors. Mihir, she was sure, must’ve taken care of that.
