Page 6 of Bonded By Christmas
At the very least, I know there are lines I would never cross, no matter how foggy my head got.
The decay eats away at an alpha until they’re a shell of who they once were. When the haze is especially bad, it’s difficult to remember who I am, let alone make good choices. Everything ends up tainted with a sheen of fury, but there are some things Iknow I would never do, because they’re diametrically opposed to who I am as a human being.
You don’t forget the rules of consent unless you’re a piece of shit who never intended to be a decent person to begin with.
“I would never hurt you,” I tell her truthfully. “But you can’t believe random alphas.”
“I guess that’s the problem.” She shrugs, cuddling closer to my chest. “You don’t feel like some random person. You’ve come to see me weekly for over two months. If we were dating, you’d be my longest relationship.”
My heart thumps erratically.
Shit.
I wonder if she can feel it with the way her cheek rests just over the organ.
Lacey groans. “That made me sound pathetic. Please forget I said that.”
“You’re never pathetic, sweetheart.” I chuckle, running my hand up her spine. “If you look at it like that, you’re my longest relationship too. You’re also a hell of a lot younger than I am. That means I’m the one who should be embarrassed.”
“Wow, multiple sentences? I think that was the most words you’ve ever said to me at one time.” She laughs. “You have a really nice voice. You should use it more often.”
I’ve always been a man of few words.
I watch and appraise any situation. You learn a lot when you let someone else lead the conversation.
I grunt, which only makes her chest jiggle against mine even harder as she chuckles. “How have you been?”
Lacey shrugs. “Fine, I suppose. I’ve been thinking about decorating for Christmas, but that’s a little depressing since I would have to do it on my own. Mostly, I don’t think it’s worth the money to buy decorations just to have them up for a week or two. I’d be the only one to enjoy them, anyway.”
My head tilts. “You enjoying them is enough of a reason.”
“Maybe.” She wiggles closer, and her scent bursts into the air. Pears and white gardenia. It’s so Lacey, and my nostrils flare as I bury my face in her hair. “What about you? It looks like you got into a fight.”
Shit.
I knew she was going to ask. Italmostkept me from coming in tonight, but I’m selfish. I couldn’t fathom having to go another seven days without seeing her smile at me. Sure, I see her even on days she doesn’t realize I’m watching, but I didn’t want her to worry if I missed a week.
I already struggle with knowing she sees other alphas during the hours I don’t book with her. It’s led to an unhealthy fixation on what she does with those clients during their visits.
She and I have never crossed the line into sexual activities, but I have no way of knowing what the dynamic is when she sees anyone who isn’t me. It’s technically none of my business, even if my instincts disagree. It also scares the fuck out of me thinking about how quickly she could be injured.
I tug her even closer, and she tilts her face up to look at mine.
“Are you okay? I’ve never seen you so beat up,” Lacey says softly.
Goddammit.
I should have skipped this week’s appointment. Normally, I only fight on Friday nightsafterI see her. That way, I’m all healed up by the time I come in the following Friday.
The fights don’t even open until eleven p.m. She’s always safe and sound at home by the time I step inside the ring.
Before I started seeing her, I needed to fight to help combat some of the simmering rage that was always present.
I don’t need it now like I did then, but I still get a nice little buzz from teaching the young punks a lesson about howlittle they truly know. They’re all the same. They think they’re indestructible because they’re in their early twenties.
It’s rare now that someone doesn’t know who I am when I step inside the warehouse, which can make finding opponents difficult. Only, I had a fighter back out two nights ago, and I had to take his place, or it would have reflected badly on my boss.
I won, but the cuts and bruises haven’t had enough time to heal. Last time I was healing from a black eye, I faked a migraine and had her turn on the auxiliary lighting. While it was underhanded, it worked, and Lacey was none the wiser.
