Page 46 of The Gambler's Prize
“What’s wrong?” he says, undeterred. “Are you crying?”
I dash a hand across my eyes, not too subtly.
“What’s on the paper?” he persists. “Has something happened?”
Stars, there’s no getting rid of him. I grab the paper and shove it in my pocket, away from his prying eyes.
“It’s none of your concern,” I snap. “You’re just a servant.”
I have to get away from him, before those innocent, out-of-touch eyes make me explode with rage. Hestillhas no idea what he’s done to my life. But he just can’t let it go. As I head for the door, he grabs my arm.
“Boss, don’t run out,” he says. “Tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you.”
“You can’t help. All you do is ruin everything. Just get the fuck out of my sight.”
His hand falls from my arm. He steps back. His face flushes pink and so much hurt shows in his eyes. More than when he realized I’d won two years of his life. It stuns me momentarily. Even though he only has himself to blame. Even though he deserves it.
“Florian wait—” I reach out for him but he’s gone, his footsteps thundering upstairs, his bedroom door slamming.
**
We don’t talk about it at dinner. Florian cooks, and I wash up. Then he goes up to bed. I sit alone at the table and drink too much agram. Next day we’re still in permafrost. We have breakfast in silence. I’m irritable and headachey. Stars, I should just enjoy the silence for once. I don’t evenwantto talk to him, or more accurately listen to his endlessly cheerful prattling about everything under the sun. Not when my one dream lies in ruins at my feet. The irony is huge. The spoiled rich boy who ruined my life is trying to makemefeel guilty. I only told him the truth. He does ruin everything, or at least he ruins everything for me. Maybe if someone had told him that sooner, he wouldn’t be running around making such a mess of his own life and everyone else’s.
Even so. Part of me wishes that I hadn’t said it. Hadn’t had to watch that hurt cross his face. Maybe Jos was right. Maybe I don’t have the temperament for long-term revenge. I’m a man of action. I should’ve just punched Florian into next week and let that suffice. Simple, direct, fair. This drawn-out, calculated plan is starting to feel… not like me.
We finish eating breakfast, which I barely taste. There’s no point in going outside to work on the gym today. Not anymore. But I have no idea what else to do with myself.
“Are we going to start building today?” Florian asks.
He sounds honestly excited about it. My stomach turns over. I feel ill from a mix of a hundred different emotions, some of which I can’t even name. I’ve never been the best at handling emotions, but this cocktail would floor anyone.
“No,” I say. “We’re not.”
“Why not?” he asks.
“Florian just… shut up. Okay?” I sound more tired than angry.
He fidgets with his fork. “Okay, Boss,” he says quietly.
After about ten minutes of sitting in front of our empty breakfast dishes, Florian clears his throat. He can’t keep quiet for any length of time, no matter how much it would benefit his health to do so.
“Boss, I found something the other day I think you should have a look at,” he says.
“What is it?”
“I can’t describe it. I need to show you.”
Now what? I let out a deep sigh, letting him know I’m not happy, but I allow him to lead me outside. Might as well see what he’s talking about, since I have nothing else to do today. He leads the way into the patch of stumpy, gnarled trees next to my land. It’s nothing like the lush forest that backs onto Rhennes, but it’s the densest undergrowth for miles around here and could theoretically conceal danger. I need to check out what he found in case it suggests bandits or dangerous animals. Of course, he’s probably imagining things. I wouldn’t trust him to know signs of real danger if they clunked him over the head.
The trees here are much smaller than in Rhennes’ forest, with tiny, prickly dark green leaves that conserve maximum moisture, helping them to eke out a living on the dry soil. A few flowering cacti stand by, just outside the patch of scrubland. I respect them for blooming so brightly in such an inhospitable place. There’s so much beauty here. It’s just different from what Florian and I are used to.
Florian glances over his shoulder at me, pushing through the undergrowth.
“Just here,” he says.
Where? I can’t see anything unusual anywhere. I take another step. Then my foot slips, or it’s more like there’s nothing under it at all: the ground has disappeared. I brace myself for a long fall. But I land sooner than expected, with a bump that hurts my ass. Feels like I landed on a wooden platform or something like that. What the hell? I stare idiotically up at the blue sky, way above me. Florian peers over the side of the hole. He doesn’t look shocked at my fall.
“Are you all right?” he shouts.
