Page 64 of The Gambler's Prize
He heaves a heavy sigh. He looks exhausted again already after only a few words, worn down by theabaskand lack of food.
“I guess because I’m a useless, needy slut,” he says.
Those sound like someone else’s words. They have no place in his beautiful mouth.
“I won’t allow you to talk about yourself like that,” I say.
“Sorry, Boss.”
He looks down until I lift his chin, smiling at him. He smiles back, but he looks so weak it breaks my heart. I’d drain the last of the poison from him by taking it into my own body if I could. Iwant to kiss away those dark shadows under his eyes and caress his hair and pull him onto my lap. But I have no right to touch him at all. Not after what I did. It was my fault he almost lost thirty years of his life. Not to mention whatever other horrors Hevra had in store for him.
“You’re hurt,” he says, running worried eyes over my face. The bruises have faded since their peak, but they’re still bad enough to prick at his gentle heart. “What happened?”
“Nothing much,” I lie. “I’ll tell you when you feel stronger.”
He leans close, his eyes wide and locked on mine. He’s practically begging me to cuddle him. I can’t resist that look. I rationalize that he needs comfort while he’s ill; it doesn’t have to be romantic. It would be cruel to refuse to hold him, in the circumstances. So I put my arms around him. He folds himself happily into my embrace, his arms stealing around my waist. Then he climbs right onto my lap. When I don’t object, a sigh of contentment comes from the very core of his being. He relaxes like a baby animal that finally feels safe. Because of my embrace? My heart, that I’ve guarded and kept aloof for so long, feels as though there’s a large, deep crack opening up in it. Florian is pushing himself inside in his own sweet, gentle way, forcing my heart open wider and wider until the world seems brighter and my bitterness starts to feel like a waste of years instead of the very point of my being.
No. Don’t go down that road. I can’t deny anymore that I love him. But he couldn’t feel the same way. He still isn’t thinking straight. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He can’t have forgiven me already. I don’t deserve that affection in his eyes. Certainly not that trust.
He looks at me closely, his face screwed up like he’s trying to figure something out.
“Boss, I don’t mean to be rude, but is your nose even more crooked than usual?”
I can’t help laughing at his big, worried eyes.
“It got broken again,” I explain.
He frowns. “Okay, you really need to tell me how all this happened.”
He sounds like he means it.
I take a deep breath. “When I was fighting those people who came after you.”
I don’t get any more specific. He doesn’t need to hear all the gory details about theabaskand the contract yet.
He looks utterly confused. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me. I don’t remember anything.”
“Don’t you dare apologize to me, Florian. It’s me who should be apologizing to you, on my knees.”
His gaze flickers over my face, lingering on my eyes, then my lips. “But I’d much rather be on my knees for you, Boss,” he breathes.
His deft fingers sneak down the collar of my shirt, at the back of my neck. Fire flickers through me. Quickly, I shift his weight so he’s not in contact with my cock.
“You need to rest,” I say, trying to sound firm.
“Later, then?” he says, irrepressible.
“Do youreallystill want me?” I blurt, authority crumbling. I’m incredulous. “Even after my revenge scheme?”
“Yes, I really do.”
We look at each other, our breath light between us, our faces so close. Tears come to my eyes. I don’t know how lucid he is, if he really means this, or if he’s still suffering from the effect of the drug. The hope that his words give me is almost too much to bear. What if he takes it back later when he’s back to normal? I place a light kiss on top of his head and so gently, I disentangle myself from his sweet, needy grip.
“Rest now,” I say. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Chapter 28
Florian
