Page 38 of Freaks
“I didn’t know you were going to be here, either. I just…I figured I’d bring over a bottle of wine for you, so you could have a glass whenever you finally got back.” She untangled herself from me, holding me at arm’s length so she could get a proper look at me. “I didn’t hear from you. I was worried out of my mind. You look great, though,” she said, shaking her head as she smiled. “Really, really great. That extended vacation obviously did you the world of good.”
“Ha! Something like that. Sadie, this is Felix,” I said, stepping to one side so he could meet her. “Felix, this is Sadie.”
“Nice to finally meet you.” He offered her his hand. “Sorry about the…y’know. For nearly knocking your front teeth out.”
She’d turned a brilliant shade of scarlet. “That’s okay. It’s fine. Really.” Her arm pumped up and down as Fix shook it. Sadie volleyed a confused look back and forth between me and Fix. The shock of being faced with a deranged six-foot-four man, ready to launch himself at her, was obviously still having an effect on her. “I’m afraid I haven’t heard a word about you, Felix. Sera, you’ve been keeping secrets,” she chided.
“I’m sorry. I—” Where did I even begin? The events that had taken place since I left for Amy’s wedding were so monumentally huge that I didn’t know which point to start at. And then I realized…I couldn’t tell her most of it. I couldn’t. If she knew how I’d come to be traveling with Fix, if she knew what he did for work, it would not end well. She was a fiercely logical, straight forward person. Telling her Fix was a hitman would only land him in jail. She’d call the cops immediately, if only because she thought she was doing the right thing to keep me safe.
“I kind of disappeared off the map there. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll tell you all about it over a glass of wine, though.”
Fix cleared his throat, giving me a subtlethat’s-really-not-a-good-idealook. I returned one that clearly told him I knew what I was doing. We were getting pretty good at the whole communicating without talking thing. “All right,” he said. “Well, I’m going to the store to grab some essentials. You guys probably need a good catch up. I’m assuming there’s nothing in your fridge. Looks like you need a new bottle of wine, too. I won’t be long.”
I wanted to keep him here with me, to not let him out of my sight. He hadn’t left me alone for days. Felt weird for him to be going somewhere without me now.Good god, girl. Get a fucking grip. He’s going to the store, not outer space.
Besides, he looked uncomfortable as all get-out, probably unnerved by the prospect of two women giggling and chatting together like school girls, which explained his desire to make a sharp exit. “Thanks. Maybe make it two bottles.” I winked at him, and he winked back.
A part of me swooned and died.
God, he was so fucking hot.
Fix patted his jeans pockets, checking to make sure he had his wallet, and then he left, giving me a lopsided smile as he closed the apartment door behind himself. I was still staring at the closed door when Sadie clicked her fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention.
“Okay,” she said, a wide grin taking up most of her face. “You have got some serious explaining to do, young lady. Who…” She shook her head, screwing her eyes shut, holding up an index finger. “No.Whatwas that? I have no idea how you managed to convince that walking sex god to come home with you.”
“Geez, thanks!”
“I’m serious,” she said, laughing. “When I turned around just now and saw him coming at me like a fucking MMA fighter on crack, I sent up a prayer and thanked the universe that the angel of death was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I swear, if he had just killed me, I really wouldn’t have even been that mad about it.”
I kept my laughter light and happy, but boy was it hard. Sadie’s joke was ridiculously close to the truth; Fix kind ofwasthe angel of death. I poked my tongue out at her. “Personally, I think he’s lucky to have scoredme.”
She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, leaning her head against mine as we walked into the kitchen. “I know, babe. You’re a hottie, too. But Jesus fucking Christ. Thoseeyes…”
******
I told her as much as I could without telling her the truth, which felt terrible and so, so wrong. I made up some bullshit story about meeting Fix at Amy’s wedding instead of at the motel from hell, and when I explained to her that I’d extended my trip and stayed on, traveling through Virginia, Pennsylvania, and then to New York with him, she teased me, prodding me in the side, making fun of how I apparently ‘went all starry eyed’ whenever I said his name.
Did mentioning Fix’s name put stars in my eyes? It was weird to hear things like that. I’d had no real time to process the fact that I’d, against all the odds, fallen in love with someone. It felt wrong to even acknowledge that I had fallen at all.
Fix had been gone for twenty minutes when I got up from the dining table and told Sadie I needed a moment to freshen up. “I was about to jump in the shower when you got here. I feel so nasty. I’m just gonna wash my face and my hands real quick.”
“Please. I don’t mind at all. Take a shower. I’m sure lover boy’ll be back with the booze by the time you get out.”
Lover boy.
Ha.
I made sure the water was piping hot before I climbed into the shower. The pressure was super high, striping layers of skin from my body as I stood under the powerful stream. So freaking good. I felt like a new born baby by the time I climbed out and wrapped a towel around me.
Shit. I should have brought clean clothes into the bathroom with me. I leaned over the bathtub, squeezing the excess water out of my hair, and then I brushed my teeth until I didn’t feel like something had crawled into my mouth and died anymore. The blast of air that hit me when I stepped out into the hallway was cool and refreshing. “Just gonna get dressed, Sads,” I called out.
No answer. She was probably rifling through the cupboards, hunting for something to eat; the girl was always hungry. I paused in the hallway to pick up her bag. The loud thumping sound I’d heard when I was stupidly clutching that knife in my hand, waiting for Fix’s all-clear must have been her dropping it to the ground. The large, tan, leather record bag was beaten and worn from years of heavy use. Sadie had been carrying the thing around with her since the day I’d met her, which was to say a very long time. A notebook and a sheaf of papers had half-slid out of the bag and onto the floor. I gathered them up, about to push them back inside, when something caught my eye.
Strange…
It was a foot. The bridge of a foot, drawn in startling detail. I pinched the paper that was poking out of Sadie’s notebook and carefully tugged on it, my forehead creasing with confusion as more and more of the drawing became visible. It was Sadie, but a younger version of herself. She was sitting on the floor, legs bent, knees drawn up to her chest, her arms folded and stacked, her chin nestled into the crook of her left arm, as if she were trying to hide. And, most worryingly of all, she was naked.
The curve of her breasts had been drawn with exaggerated care, and between her bent legs, the dark fuzz of pubic hair had been drawn in, disguising the outline of her vagina. How old would she have been in this picture? Thirteen? Fourteen? Way too young to have posed in a such a strangely sexual, vulnerable position. I frowned, my throat closing up by the second as I stared at the drawing, trying not to jump to conclusions. But it was hard. So fucking hard. Because I recognized the use of crosshatching in the figure’s shadow. I’d seen the loose, messy stroke technique that made up Sadie’s hair once before.
