Page 36 of Freaks
“And who said I wanted to go back there?”
“Your apartment’s there. Your business. Your friends. You at least need to go back and tidy up some loose ends. See Sadie. Pack up your place. Assign someone to take care of your company.”
He was right. And I’d already come to that decision myself; to have someone step in as temporary caretaker for the business, until I figured out what I wanted to do in the long term. Jasmine would be thrilled to be appointed temporary CEO. She was good at her job and deserved the opportunity to prove herself. She’d been holding down the fort for a long time already. She’d be more than capable of doing so indefinitely, or at least until I decided if I wanted to sell or not.
I did need to go back to my apartment, too, if only to pick up some extra clothes and some of my personal items. And Sadie. God, I really fucking missed Sadie. I hadn’t had chance to check my own emails in days, and I didn’t have a cell phone anymore. I’d told my friend I’d meet her for lunch at the beginning of the week, and I hadn’t called or messaged to let her know I wasn’t going to be able to make it. She was probably going out of her fucking mind, bombarding the Seattle police department with countless missing person’s reports.
Monica excused herself, wrapping her dressing gown tightly around herself as she hurried out of the dining room. I dug the tines of my fork into the food Richard had scrounged up for me, sighing. “Fine. We’ll go back to Seattle. But on one condition. I know how much you love driving, but I am so fucking sick of sitting in cars. We either fly across country, or we don’t go at all.”
He turned a devilishly smug smile on me. “Do I get to fuck you while we’re in the air?”
“Of course.”
“In that case, anything for my queen.”
FIFTEEN
SERA
The city looked like it was on fire as the plane touched down. The sky was burning gold, orange, and scarlet, bruised a deep purple on the horizon where the night was drawing in. How long had it been since I was here? A month? Five weeks at most. It felt like I’d been gone for a lifetime. So much had happened. So many hurdles and obstacles thrown in my way. Everything had changed the night of that storm, where I'd found myself trapped in that dingy motel room with a man I did not know.
Now I felt like I didn't know myself anymore. Something had changed so irrevocably inside me since that night in Liberty Fields that I knew I’d never be the same version of myself again. And the truth was, I didn't even know if I would everwantto be that person again. I'd been so set in my ways, following a routine day in and day out. Coming to work, meeting with clients. Attending meetings, then coming home, eating dinner, hanging out with Sadie. Years had passed, and nothing had changed. It would be safe to fall back into that life, but if the past month with Felix had taught me anything, it was that safe didn't always mean happy.
I'd slept some on the plane, drifting into a state of dreamless unconsciousness, but Felix had sat alert and rigid next to me the entire time, refusing to close his eyes. I got the impression he hadn't been on a plane in a very, very long time, which made sense given that traveling by air wasn't exactly easy for him. He’d used a fake ID to board the plane, one of many I'm sure he kept on his person at all times, but I could see by the sharp, irritated flashing in his eyes that the experience had been a troubling one.
We left the airport, collected our bags and headed out to find a cab. I was plagued by nerves as we approached the city center, nearing my apartment. Technically, I was going home. But home was no longer a collection of rooms, filled with books and clothes. It was the man sitting next to me, holding my hand. I was anxious as we climbed the stairs up to the third floor.
My building was so old it didn't even have an elevator, which made me feel weirdly embarrassed. Felix's penthouse in New York was beautiful. Everything was new, everything was shiny, everything was so distinctlyhim. When I'd left to attend Amy's wedding, I'd been in a hurry. I'd left the place in a state, my shoes strewn all over the entryway, papers left stacked all over the dining table. I was pretty sure I’d left dirty dishes in the sink and by now the jungle of plants dotted around the place were probably all dead. Not ideal.
What would my life here look like to him? Small? Average? So very underwhelming? I couldn't help but feel like he was going to judge me the moment he saw the place in such disarray. That was stupid, IknewI was being stupid, but I still couldn't shake it. Felix had put up with me rotating through the same seven sets of clothes for the last month and he hadn't blinked an eyelid. Why would he care that I hadn't been able to tidy up before I'd thrown my bags into my rental and fled the city?
I braced myself as I slid the key into the lock and opened the front door, cringing at the prospect of the mess we were about to face. Fix caught me up, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me to him before I had the chance to step inside.
"Just fucking relax," he said, breathing into my ear. "You're wound up so fucking tight, you're gonna snap any second now.” I could literally hear him smirking from behind me. “You got a weird china cat collection in there or something?”
“I hate cats,” I replied.
“Creepy dolls then? Stuffed toys? Are there posters of Hanson all over your bedroom walls?”
I laughed despite myself. “The most embarrassing thing you'll find in here is a bunch of dead Peace Lilies and a half-eaten bowl of cereal on the kitchen counter.”
“Well, then. Quit freaking out. Take a deep fucking breath and let's get inside. There's a weird old man staring at me right now and he's making me fucking nervous.”
I glanced down the hallway to find Mr. Conroy in 12B peering through his cracked doorway. I waved to him, and the grumpy old bastard scowled so deeply it looked like he was sucking on a lemon. “Been strange people hovering outside that door for weeks, Sera Lafferty,” he groused. “This is s’posed to be a quiet building.” Giving Fix a pointed glare, he shook his head, his tufty white hair bobbing comically. “And no guests after nine,” he sniped.
“That’s not a rule, Julian. We can have guests whenever we like, and you know it. Now go back inside before I tell Rhonda you were being a dick.”
“Who the fuck’s Rhonda?” Fix hissed.
I tried not to smirk as I hurried inside the apartment, pulling Fix along behind me. “Rhonda’s his nurse. He’s kind of terrified of her, but she’s the sweetest.”
“She probably beats him with a paddle behind closed doors. Poor fucker.”
I stifled a laugh as I wormed my way out of his arms, trying to scoot through the apartment before him so I could assess the damage. There were no shoes in the hallway, though. The throws had been straightened on the couch, the TV remotes placed carefully side by side on the arm. In the kitchen, the bowl I could have sworn I’d left sitting out was nowhere to be seen, and as for the house plants…
They were all alive and, frankly, looking better than they had when I’d left them.
Weird, but whatever. Obviously, my memory was playing tricks on me. I dumped my bag on the dining table. My hair had grown long enough to tie back over the past few weeks. I undid it, releasing it from the small ponytail I could now manage, shaking it out, sighing with relief.
