Page 25 of For the Love of Scott
“Thanks for telling me about Hoya.”
Scott’s chest rises and falls with the deep breath he takes. He nods.
“Did you mean what you said about not wanting there to be an us?” Ben asks quietly.
Fear chills Scott from the inside out. Honesty is the best policy, according to Jason. He swallows and says, “You gotta understand. When I lost Hoya, I questioned every move, every decision I made. I blamed myself for a really long time.”
Ben nods.
“And when I found Sylvester like that, all that guilt, all that pain came rushing back.”
“I understand,” says Ben, stuffing his fingers in his pockets. “But did you mean what you said about not wanting there to be an us?”
Scott doesn’t flinch from Ben’s gaze, though he very much wans to. Honesty and all that. “At the time, yes.”
Ben’s eyes go wide.
“And for several days afterward.”
Ben does a good impression of a fish and Scott smiles.
“Until Pammy called Jason and he helped me pull my head out of my ass.” Scott shrugs. “I’m sorry for being an idiot.”
Ben opens his mouth and from the expression he wears, he’s going to dispute Scott’s assertion.
Scott holds up a hand. “I’m not saying I didn’t have a good explanation, but I was still an ass, so I apologize.”
Ben chuckles. “Apology accepted. So. Again. I ask…how’re you feeling about there being an us?”
“How areyoufeeling about there being an us?” That’s the more important question, although he suspects Ben wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t at least entertaining the possibility. That thought alone makes Scott’s pulse pound like thirty pair of feet in a platoon on a PT run.
“I want there to be an us more than anything,” he says. “I’ve waited a long time for you.”
Scott takes a breath, blinks. “You’ve only known me for seven months. I mean, really known me.”
Ben taps his chest, right above his heart. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
Scott has been waiting for Ben and the Thompsons too, only he hadn’t known it until he’d spent the last several days without the warmth of their presence in his life.
Apologies and explanations aside, Scott isn’t anywhere near healed. He knows that much at least. “I’ll probably still have moments like when I found Sylvester.”
“To be expected, I imagine.”
“For a while.”
“As long as you don’t kick me to the curb every time you do, I can learn to handle them.”
Scott nods. “Okay.”
“Okay. You still haven’t answered my damn question.”
Scott can’t fight the smile. “Yes. I want there to be an us, too.”
“Good, I’m glad.” Ben grabs fistfuls of Scott’s coat and hauls him forward and plants a long kiss on his lips. If they weren’t standing on a street corner, Scott might have tried to deepen it, but in reality, he’s just happy about being forgiven. Being given a second chance at this relationship is more than he’d expected or hoped for. Ben scoops up the cup he’d dropped to the ground with one hand and took Scott’s hand with the other. “Let’s go home.”
Scott isn’t sure whose home he means, but it doesn’t really matter, not as long as they are an “us.”
