Page 20 of Love On Deck
Amazing sex. An equally incredible date—he realizes now that that’s what their day really was. And then more fantastic sex.
What had started off as a one-night stand and the scratching of an itch had become a tentative friendship. Connor hadn’t wanted to take things farther once their connection through Casey and Will had come to light. Pursuing a relationship, even a short-lived one, is chancy at best. Pursuing a relationship with his brother-in-law-to-be’s best friend is downright foolhardy. Dangerous even.
But Drew’s smart and funny. He loves baseball. He’s gorgeous. And he did something special for Connor. After Connor’s initial reservations, having a shipboard thing with Drew seemed worth the risk. But Connor had made himself clear that no one could know. Drew had accepted the stipulation.
That Drew would tell Will about them. Connor just… He doesn’t even know. The sense of betrayal sits like an old dirty catcher’s mitt in his gut. He shoves another dollar coin in the slot and yanks the handle. The clang and jangle of the machines grates on his nerves. The more he chews on Drew’s duplicity, the more agitated he becomes. Dammit. If he loses Casey because Drew couldn’t keep his mouth closed... He shakes his head. Much as she drives him insane, she’s his only family, and he just can’t lose her. He smacks the side of the slot machine.
“Connor? What’s wrong?” Casey asks.
“Drop it, Case,” he snaps, yanking his arm out from under her hand, and standing. God, can she not harp at him about every little thing? He’s almost thirty fucking years old. He hasn’t needed a mother in ten years, hasn’t had one in twenty.
“Hey,” says Will, gripping Connor’s shoulder hard, tone inviting no response. His tone softens when he says to Casey, “Sweetheart, go get Connor a root beer, would you?”
Connor completely deflates in the face of Will’s blatant concern and Casey’s wounded expression. Tears shimmer in her blue eyes yet again, and Connor feels about two inches tall. None of this would be an issue if she knew.
“Fuck,” he mutters, hanging his head. “I just…” He just what? Took a chance and got fucked. Literally and figuratively. He’s pissed and he’s hurt, but he shouldn’t have taken his feelings out on his sister. He doesn’t need a mother, but he needs his big sister. “I’m sorry, Case.”
With a nod, she goes in search of a bar.
Will presses Connor back onto the stool. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
Will’s dark eyes bore into Connor and Connor can’t look away. He has no idea what to say. He wants to address the issue. He does. But the reality of his homosexuality is not something he’s ever talked about with anyone other than his therapists.
“Connor, we’re gonna be brothers in a few days. Talk to me. Whatever you say goes no farther. I promise.”
Connor needs a sympathetic ear and seeing as how Will already knows… He takes a breath and blurts, “Drew had no right to say anything.”
“About?”
If Connor spells it out, he’s copping to it. Truth be told, Casey doesn’t seem to be the wiser. Had Will said anything to her, she’d have brought it up with Connor at the first opportunity. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, and he’s got to trust Will’s discretion a little longer. “Him and me. Being together.”
“Oh, that.”
Connor goggles at Will. “Yeah. That.”
An easy smile now softens Will’s face. “I’ve had my suspicions about you for a while. Much longer than the last few days of this cruise. The other morning at brunch? Casey was oblivious, but I caught your reaction to meeting Andrew. I recognized his morning-after behavior too. I put two and two together. On Monday afternoon, I asked the right questions. He inferred I knew and answered accordingly, confirming everything for me. So today, when I called looking for him, he replied truthfully because why shouldn’t he have?” Will arches an eyebrow. “As far as he knew, he wasn’t breaking a confidence.”
Connor goes warm all over.
Fuck.
He’s half tempted to check his shoes for a large pile of dog shit. “I guess I owe him an apology.”
“Yep.” Will’s gaze strays to somewhere past Connor, which means…
“Hey,” says Casey softly, holding out a glass fizzing with ice and dark brown soda. The faint scent of vanilla reminds him of Baba. For all her sharp edges and strident opinions, she was familiar and familiarity brings a semblance of comfort. “Connor, honey, I love you. You know that, right?”
Connor nods. Will takes the drink and Connor buries his face in Casey’s neck. “I’m so sorry, Case. I was pissed off about something, and I took it out on you. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair, and I’m really, really sorry.”
Her embrace is warm and solid and everything he remembers from childhood.
“Apology accepted, of course,” she says and sweeps a hand across his cheek. “Is there anything I can do?”
Connor shakes his head. It’s all on him. One apology down, one to go.
Chapter Nine
Connor thinks up and discards excuses all the way back to Drew’s cabin. He knocks on the door and waits, hands shoved in his pockets.
