Page 10 of Love On Deck
Connor’s mouth goes dry. He just can’t take another chance with Andrew. He should have gone back to the bar and picked up someone else.
Fuck.
He swallows and croaks, “Water.”
Andrew drags his gaze to meet Connor’s. He stares for a moment before nodding and turning toward one of the four restaurants here on the deck. Connor enters the pool, which has emptied out some since he first arrived. People cling to the edges, talking, laughing, drinking, but the center is clear, so he sets off toward the other end.
Andrew is Will’s best friend. Sleeping with the guy may be good for Connor’s libido but could definitely impact his relationship with Will as well as with Casey if things go wrong. The risks are high, the reward…? He’s not sure the immediate gratification is worth losing Casey.
He pops up to make sure the lane is still free of bodies and makes the return trip. It’s not as big a pool as he’s used to, but he swims laps until the edge of his physical restlessness has abated. Whether he’s edgy from being inactive for four straight hours or from Andrew’s unabashed interest stirring up other feelings, he’s not sure. Probably a combination of both. The feelings can go nowhere. Connor’s gotta say something.
He swipes his hair away from his face and accepts the bottle of water Andrew holds out. He kills half of it in a single go before waving at Andrew’s bottle. “You could have had a drink. It doesn’t bother me.”
Andrew shrugs. “Why don’t you drink?”
“My parents were killed by a drunk driver.”
“I’m sorry,” Andrew says, looking contrite.
Connor accepts the condolence with a nod. “Thanks. It was a long time ago. I was eight. My memories of them are a bit hazy.” Their deaths don’t upset him much anymore. Sometimes he thinks they should, but he’s had years of counseling, and he’s made his peace with not having his parents.
“Still. It sucks.”
Connor nods again. It does. Although not having a mom and dad sucked more when he was a kid than it does now.
Unease tightens his shoulders again, despite the laps he just took. Andrew’s expecting something, but Connor’s not sure how to bring the subject up. Instead, he asks, “What about you? Parents? Siblings?”
They bob in the water. The pool clears out and the crowd on the deck thins further.
“All of the above,” says Andrew. “Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.”
“That’s nice. It was just Baba, Casey, and me after my parents died. Baba died when I was a freshman in college.”
“College, huh? What did you study?”
“History. I have a bachelor’s degree in history.”
Andrew looks impressed. “That’s fantastic.”
“More than a pretty face.”
They go silent again, floating next to one another, gazes meeting every so often. Arousal simmers beneath Connor’s skin, but he can’t act on it. He shouldn’t. He really, really shouldn’t. But, God, he wants to. Andrew is smart and funny and gorgeous. Connor sets his water bottle on the deck and pushes off the edge of the pool. He completes a lap, then two, and then three, but the hum of need doesn’t dissipate. He stands in front of Andrew, water sluicing off of him.
Andrew looks up, and Connor sees the desire that buzzes beneath his own skin mirrored in Andrew’s eyes.
“Do me a favor?”
Andrew asks “what” with the arch of an eyebrow.
“Don’t say anything to my sister about us hooking up. I don’t want to make things awkward for her.”
“Connor.” Andrew’s voice is just this side of rough and it zings straight to Connor’s cock.
“This isn’t a good idea.”
Andrew doesn’t pretend to not understand. “You could have just said no via text.”
“I wanted to do it in person. Which probably, in hind sight, wasn’t the best idea either.” Connor looks up at the sky. Stars shimmer in an amazing dome of sparkling light as if a handful of fine glitter was thrown across dark blue velvet. It’s breathtaking. It’s been a while since he’s seen a sky like this. The last time was in college, before he’d become any sort of name. He and his boyfriend had gone camping, and his gay cherry had been popped. But that was a lifetime ago. He looks back at Andrew. A heavy blanket of disappointment, of longing, wraps around him. “This. Us. I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He flees the pool, grabs his stuff from the locker, and returns to drop the key into Andrew’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
