Page 29 of The Top of Admiration
My conscience hath a thousand several tongues,
And every tongue brings in a several tale,
and every tale condemns me a villain
Richard III, William Shakespeare
Last week was a mess. I’d been hanging with Jules, Cordy, and Lucy on Friday night when a text came through from Cam, complete with a photo of his messed-up, usually beautiful face. Juliet being a professional didn’t ask for the details but of course Cordy was straight on the case, finding out from Damon that he’d been punched because a cougar bought him a drink. It was me. I was the cougar. Not in age, but I’d bought the drink. Why did my thank-yous seem to end either threatening a marriage or getting a kind man assaulted? I sat silently, staring into my wine. No way would I confess in front of Lucy, but Cordy was eyeing me suspiciously, reading into my guilty expression with the expertise of someone who had known me her whole life.
“Shit, that’s nasty. Mom will be beside herself,” Lucy moaned, wincing when her phone rang and her mom’s name flashed. “I gotta take this. Shit, shit, shit.” She left the room, her words fading as she left. “He’s fine, Mom. No, he didn’t start it. Don’t stress. Why did Dad even tell you? Who told …”
Cordy looked at me expectantly, while Jules continued to examine the picture, muttering about men ignoring medical advice.
“What?” I said stupidly, swishing my wine around. I had to do something with my hands. Cordy didn’t answer with words, but with an exasperated look.
“Okay, I bought the drink. I told you what happened at Seamus’s office, and I am going to keep quiet about it, but I had to thank the man somehow.”
Jules sighed. “Yes, Miranda. I’m sure he’s very grateful.”
Ever the referee, Cordy interjected. “To be fair Jules, how was she to know it would end like this?”
“Well, Seamus is up my ass lately about Bard drama and this will not help. Why can’t you just be normal Randa and thank the man? Breaking your word to Seamus would have been better than facilitating a head injury, no matter what your intentions.”
That surprised me. Jules was all about integrity and keeping your word. “Cam wanted to be anonymous for a reason, Jules. I am trying to honor that too.”
“No, you’re trying to avoid facing what a man sliding over fifteen thousand might mean for you. Do you like him or not? If you do, thank him in person and just be normal. Go on a date. Be normal. You know, like normal people are.”
“That’s a lot of ‘normals’ for one sentence,” Cordy mused.
“I don’t know how I feel. I feel like I’d be encouraging him if I thanked him and I’m really not sure I’m ready. I am not avoiding things for me, I’m avoiding awkwardness for him,” I finished confidently.
Cordy laughed and rubbed Theodore’s fur. He was a clingy cat, but less so than his aloof brother Simon.
“Really, I don’t know. And it wouldn’t—”
“Wouldn’t what?” Lucy questioned, striding back into the room looking happier than when she’d left.
“Wouldn’t want to paint Mom and Dad another masterpiece and blow Jules’s and Cordy’s Christmas gift out of the water this year,” I offered lamely.
Jules snorted and drank her wine.
Lucy shrugged. “Okay. Hey Randa, you should go over to Cam’s and play nurse. I have a nurse’s outfit.” That would not be happening.
“You want me to wearyoursex outfit withyourbrother?” I clarified. Lucy made a face and shook her head. “I wouldn’t want it back. Keep it.”
“I have actual scrubs in the car,” Jules countered. “But please do not render any actual medical assistance to the poor man. You’ve done enough.”
Lucy looked confused but was quickly distracted by Damon coming into the room. He never knocked. I know he was keen to move in, or have Cordy move in with him, but my sister was once bitten, twice shy with the whole ‘moving in with a boyfriend’ scenario.
“Just spoke to Cam. Marcus convinced him to let his brother check him out. He’s a nurse,” he nodded reassuringly at Jules, who looked relieved. I wandered into the kitchen, seeking a cheesy, processed snack. My next act of service to Cam would have to be airtight.
__________
Three days later, I still hadn’t laid eyes on Cam due to my very subtle and cautious avoidance of him. Cordy had assured me that his face was healing well, and he was in good spirits, but I still felt terrible. This job would have to be perfect. I’dspent hours watching deck repair videos on YouTube, so I had this covered. I’d built sculptures bigger than myself, and I was a painter, not a sculptor so surely I could do this easily. Mom always said I could turn my hand to anything. I’d considered bringing Cordy into the plan given that she had actual renovation experience, but I was reluctant to create another Bard conspiracy that Seamus could throw in my face. Besides, I’d handed Cordy plenty of drills and little bolt things when she did jobs around her house. I was basically an expert.
I crouched on Cam’s porch, hair tied up with a pencil because I couldn’t find a hair tie, armed with a bright pink toolkit Mom had given me years ago. It wasn’t so much a toolkit as a collection of odds and ends: duct tape, a hammer with a rubber duck handle, a pack of nails that looked older than I was, and a tube of glittery super glue. There was other metal stuff in there and it all looked very construction-like. I’d visited Damon at work earlier that day and he’d kindly given me a plank of wood very similar to the ones on the steps. I’d snapped a close-up photo of Cam’s healthy steps with no background so Damon would have no idea what I was doing.
“What do you need this for?” Damon asked. “Does it need to be strong? What is it holding up?”
