Page 6 of The Top of Admiration
“Well, if you change your mind, I promise I won’t bring middle-school locker room energy into an adult conversation like Bad Cam does. He seriously wrote a love song and forgot to include the woman in it.”
She didn’t look happy. I shouldn’t have commented on her relationship. I wasn’t here to badmouth Asshole Cam to her and engineer a break-up, but it’s honestly what I felt like doing.
“Goodnight Cameron.”
“Goodnight Miranda. Oh, and by the way, they definitely deserve a song, but so does the woman attached to them.” I was trying to lighten the mood, to bring us back to flirty, jokey Miranda and Cam. I carefully used the words “they” and “them” to describe her tits because other synonyms felt weird. Boobs was a word women used, titties and knockers seemed juvenile, and breasts was too anatomical and medical. Tits was my go-to word, but it seemed inappropriate for a non-boyfriend to use. No way would I use melons.
She didn’t answer, opting instead to disappear down the hallway into her bedroom. Fuck Bad Cam. Why did she keep investing in him? He was never there for her. He barely attended her art events, but that was probably a good thing. Someone who said “word” as a term of agreement and “collab” to describe anything that involved more than one person in any life activity didn’t belong in serious adult settings.
Chapter 6: Miranda — Cam confusion
Promising is the very air o’ the time; it opens the eyes of expectation
Timon of Athens, William Shakespeare
The next morning, I woke up feeling a bit better. I’d had arguments with Cam before, and there’s no reason we couldn’t talk this one out too. Cordy bustled through the door holding a huge bunch of bright pink gerberas.
“These were on the doorstep. The card just says, ‘Dearest Miranda.’”
I smiled. Typical Cam. We did argue a fair bit, but he was big on grand gestures, just like the one he performed last night, though that one was definitely misguided. Damon had heardSweet Melonsbefore, but it was a debut performance for everyone else.
Me: Thanks for flowers. Let’s catch up for lunch xx
Cam: I didn’t send flowers?? Who are they from??
My face went blank. The confusion must have been written on my face because Cordy leaned over and read my phone.
“Oh,” she said simply.
“Yeah. Where’s Luce? Is this her?” Lucy was incredibly thoughtful and loved bright colors. This was probably her.
“No, I suspect what we have here is a good old-fashioned case of mistaken Cam identities. Lucy’s Cam was over here this morning. I’m tipping your Cam is in bed nursing a hangover, and Nice Cam left you these.”
“Nice Cam implies my Cam is Bad Cam.” I threw her a defensive look.
“Oh, that’s not what I meant. I just mean that Cam W is a good guy. Your Cam is good, he’s just … well, you know what he is Miranda, so I’m just gonna say it. I like him. He’s a fun guy but I don’t like him for you. Just because you invest a certain amount of time in someone doesn’t mean they have to be your endgame. Cam won’t ever commit. He’ll always chase his dreams. He’ll be that sad old guy in a bar telling everyone stories of how he ‘almost made it.’ I don’t want that for you. You deserve love, commitment, and stability. Passion and fun are great, but they’re not a good foundation for a serious relationship.”
I wanted to tell her off, to scream at her and defend Cam, but I knew she was right. I needed more and Cam was just never going to give it to me. But I loved him. I really loved him. My phone buzzed again.
Cam: Who are they from Miranda? They’re not from me! Who the fuck is giving you flowers?
Ah, so apparently Cam could be jealous sometimes.
Me: I have no idea. Probably Lucy or the other Cam.
Like I said, I never lied to Cam.
Cam: Tell him to fuck off or I will.
Interesting. So he could have deep and meaningfuls with Jess, but Cam couldn’t cheer me up when I was sad? Flowers were a bit over the line, but still, I felt satisfied.
Cam: I’ll come over for lunch. I’ll bring some subs?
Me: Yeah, that’d be nice, thanks.
I dragged myself out of bed, pulling on jeans and an old top. I usually loved to dress up. I loved being comfortable, but I alsoloved color and style. When Cam arrived, I was lounging on the sofa. I never ended up getting drunk last night after I was rudely interrupted with a humiliating song, so my head was clear. Cam’s was not.
“I’m so sorry baby,” he whispered, sitting by my side and grabbing me in a side hug. “I thought it’d be funny last night, a way to make it up to you. Jess came over and she thought it would be a nice gesture to break the ice.”
