Page 21 of The Top of Admiration
“She never protects herself. She went all out for me, so I’m repaying the favor.”
“Yes, but she doesn’t want contact with Cam. If you push yourself into his life, even to annoy him, he’ll take that as a sign. And Cordy, you’re shit at it.” Damon loved Cordy, but she was really trying his patience lately. She’d been caught in a private car park trying to shove a huge potato up Cam’s exhaust pipe. An old lady had called the police, who came and let her off with a warning. Cam was more annoyed by the fact that she took a stupidly large potato that would never have fit in an exhaust pipe than he was with her master plan.
He was right. Cordy was terrible at this. I agreed Bad Cam needed some karma, but it should be sophisticated. Herattempts to throw a water balloon at him as he left work had failed equally as miserably as the potato plan. Damon said she completely missed him, the balloon breaking against the shop window. Bad Cam had stared at her with a puzzled expression, and she’d shouted “Hah! Take that!” and run off, throwing herself into the backseat of the car, yelling “Drive!” Damon was the getaway driver, not that he knew of the plan, and said the second-hand embarrassment had almost killed him.
Damon’s phone began ringing. “Shit, fucking Ben! I gotta take this.” He left the room looking irritated.
“Cordy, you need to refine your plans. I am all for some kind of punishment for Cam but think less like a 10-year-old and more like Miranda.”
“What do you suggest, oh wise one?” She had a hand on her hip, but she looked intrigued.
“I suggest some apps. It wouldn’t take me long to develop some simple apps. We could upload them, hide the icons, and let nature take its course.”
“I love it!” She clapped her hands together. “But how can I get them on his phone?”
“You ask him to come around here to talk. Apologize to him or something, just drag it out long enough for me to upload a few apps. Somehow get him to unlock his phone and leave it on the counter, unless you know his code?”
She shook his head. “No, and I’m not asking Miranda. She just wants him gone.”
“Okay, so invite him over to your house. I’ll conveniently be there. Ask him to check the weather or something, then pull him to the backyard to ‘talk’ in private and hope like hell that he leaves his phone on the counter.”
“The weather? That’s a stupid idea. You’re such a man, Cam. I’ll think of something that will actually work.”
Damon came back in. “That guy is a dickhead. I’m gonna have to sack him, I just know it.”
“That’s sad,” Cordy said with a smile. We shared a conspiratorial look. We’d tell Damon after the fact. He was too sensible for this.
Chapter 18: Cam R — Crabs and campers
Madness in great ones must not unwatched go
Hamlet, William Shakespeare
I knocked on Cordy’s door nervously. This was weird. She’d been doing stupid things lately, and I knew I had them coming, but she was nowhere near the prankster level of Miranda, so her efforts were just embarrassing. Her text earlier today had requested that I come around to “talk.” I hadn’t spoken to Miranda for ages, but she hadn’t blocked me from her social media, so I knew she was in France.
It was a huge relief that she’d made it there, despite my sabotage. I felt guilty the moment I sent that email and knew in my heart that I burned my last bridge with her. I loved her still. I think I always would, but she obviously didn’t want me. I’d filled my nights with other women, even with Jess. She’d become a regular booty call, but I’d pledged to cut her off soon. She was really clingy and was starting to talk about commitment. If I could never truly commit to Miranda, there was no way I’d commit to Jess. She really was just a friend. Sure, she had tits and a vagina, but that was the extent of it.
“Come in,” Cordelia said regally, stepping aside to gesture me in with a royal sweep of her arm. She was being very odd.
“Okkayyy,” I answered, following her into the kitchen. On her counter stool stood Dickhead Cam. I knew he was just waiting for my demise so he could make a move on my girl, so yeah, I hated the guy. If I’d known he would be here, I wouldn’t have come.
“Bad Cam,” he said, nodding at me.
“Worse Cam,” I replied sarcastically.
“Cam just dropped over. He’s waiting for Damon. Let’s go to the patio,” Cordelia offered.
She was fidgeting nervously. What was she going to tell me?
“Actually, no. Tell me Cam, have you texted Juliet lately?”
What?
“No,” I said slowly.
“Prove it,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. Asshole Cam shook his head slightly.
I unlocked my phone and held it out to Cordelia. She flicked through it for a nanosecond and seemed satisfied. Fuck, the Bard sisters were strange cats.
