Page 35 of Walking in Darkness
“Out of your own selfishness?” Disbelief gusted from my lungs. “Do you think I don’t know why you really do it? Do you think I don’t know this is another way that you protect the innocent? That you’re giving your entire life to stopping the evils that run rampant in this world? Both while awake and asleep? You think I would ever judge you?”
He dropped his forehead to mine. “I can’t stand the thought of you seeing me like that, Aria. With bloodstained hands.”
My forehead shook against his, and I clutched on to him as I whispered, “All of our hands are bloodstained. In some way. You’re the one who told me that what is important right now is my survival ... And if this is part of what it takes for that survival, then so be it.”
He tightened his hold on my face. “No, Aria. Not this. Please don’t ask it of me. Stay here and keep the doors locked. I hate leaving you, but it’s so much more dangerous out there than it is in here. I’m going to leave my gun on the table. Do not hesitate to use it. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
With that, he tore himself away, and he pulled his gun from where he had it tucked inside his jacket. Metal clanked against the wood as he set it down; then he pulled a large knife from his duffel and tucked that into its spot.
Anxiety rolled through me. The thought of him out there, on his own—every part of me rejected the idea of it. This misconception that he was supposed to take on more of the burden. That he had to protect me from the things he thought I shouldn’t be exposed to.
We should have long since passed that.
“Pax,” I said, trying to break through to him, but one second later, he stood in front of me again.
His hot hands burned on my cheeks as he begged, “Please, just stay here, Aria. Please.”
Then he moved around me and worked through the locks. He scanned the area before he looked back at me with some sort of apology written in his expression, then fully stepped out and let the door drift shut behind him.
Hurt blistered through me, and a puff of incredulity escaped my mouth.
I began to pace, fingers twining in agitation.
Was that what he thought? What our partnership meant? What our relationship meant? That he could keep me out of the parts he didn’t want me to see?
Only, I could see. Our connection was too great for his insecurities to shield it.
I didn’t need to close my eyes to feel it.
Because an hour later, a sense was there, infiltrating my spirit. A sense that swelled inside me on a rising tide. A warning that he was in trouble. It invaded my mind with visions of darkness. The darkness he’d just stepped into.
Chapter Twelve
Pax
Fuck.
I felt like an utter prick leaving Aria that way. Just turning my back and walking out. It was the only thing I could do, since there wasn’t a chance I could remain there and deny that she was speaking the truth. Her point was more than valid, but how could I drag her here?
To the seediest part of the city, where I knew I would find what I was looking for.
Some sick, deranged bastard getting rich off the weak.
Night had just fallen, and the dense clouds that hung over the city created a canopy. A darkened shell that felt as if it enclosed the wickedness, held it in captivity while letting it run unchecked.
The whole vibe made it feel later than it was, though the streets were crammed with cars that made their way through rush hour in an endless string of taillights.
A siren wailed from somewhere in the distance, and the cold, corrupt air was intermittently filled with the blare of a car horn and the revving of engines.
People bustled along the sidewalks, ducking into stores and restaurants and apartment buildings.
I wondered how many of them noticed the aura in the atmosphere. If they could scent it the way I did.
Nah.
Not possible.
They had to be wholly immune, or there was no chance they’d be dashing around as if all things were right. Not a care in the world when I felt the weight of that world’s sin crushing down on my shoulders.
