Page 11 of Things We Left Behind
“He was suffering. It’s natural to be glad that part of it is over.”
She hopped up on the counter, planting herself next to my fast-food dinner. “Still seems wrong,” she said.
I reached around her and snagged a French fry from the plate. It was just an excuse to get closer to her. To test myself.
“Why are you here, Sloane?”
Even as I conspired to get closer, I was still pushing her away. The dynamic was taxing on a good day. On a day like today, it was fucking exhausting.
She took another fry and pointed it at me. “Because I want to know why my mom greeted you like you were a long-lost Walton today. What does she think she owes you? What were you talking about?”
I wasn’t about to begin that conversation. If Sloane had any hint of what I’d done, she’d never leave me in peace again. “Look, it’s late. I’m tired. You should go.”
“It’s 5:30 in the evening, you grumpy pain in the ass.”
“I don’t want you here.” The truth snapped out of me in a desperate rush.
She sat up straighter on the counter but made no move to leave. She’d always been too comfortable with my temper. Thatwas part of the problem. Either she overestimated her invincibility or she underestimated what raged beneath my surface. I wasn’t going to let her stick around long enough to find out which.
She cocked her head, sending that long swing of blond hair over her shoulder. She’d changed up the tone, going from a faded raspberry to a silvery shimmer at the tips. “You know what I kept thinking about today during the services?”
She as well as her mother and sister had spoken in front of the crowd, eloquently, emotionally. But it was the single tear that slid down Sloane’s cheek, the ones she dashed away with my handkerchief, that had sliced me open and left me raw.
“A dozen new ways to piss me off, starting with invading my privacy?”
“How happy Dad would have been if we’d ever pretended to get along.”
It was my turn to close my eyes. She landed the strike with expert precision. Guilt was a sharp weapon.
Simon would have loved nothing more than to see his daughter and his “project” at least friendly toward each other again.
“I guess there’s no reason to start now,” she continued. Her eyes were locked on mine. There was nothing friendly in her gaze. Only a pain and grief that mirrored my own. But we weren’t going to mourn together.
“I guess not,” I agreed.
She heaved a sigh, then hopped off the counter. “Cool. I’ll show myself out.”
“Take the coat,” I said, holding it out to her. “It’s cold.”
She shook her head. “If I take it, I’d have to bring it back, and I’d rather not come back here.” Her gaze flicked around the space, and I knew she too had ghosts here.
“Take the fucking coat, Sloane.” My voice was hoarse. I pushed it into her arms, not giving her the choice.
For a second, we were connected by cashmere.
“Are you here for me?” she asked suddenly.
“What?”
“You heard me. Are you here for me?”
“I came to pay my respects. Your father was a good man, and your mother has always been nothing but kind to me.”
“Why did you come back this summer?”
“Because my oldest friends were behaving like children.”
“And I didn’t factor into those decisions?” she pressed.
