Page 172 of By A Thread
Dominic: I take it you told your girls?
Ally: I wanted to give Gola and Ruth a head’s up. Why?
Dominic: I nearly had to give Gola the Heimlich maneuver.
Ally: Did you by chance also hear a terrifying shriek in the stairwell? That was Ruth.
Dominic: Dominic and Ally, nearly killing friends with good news since today.
* * *
Harry: Been too long. Drinks. Tonight.
Dominic: Not sure. Got a lot going on.
Harry: I have two girls under four who just got into Mommy’s $200 lipstick and used it to draw on our fancy bed linens. I am the one with a lot going on.
Dominic: How fancy?
Harry: Something about organic silkworms and monks.
Dominic: Ouch.
Harry: So drinks. You’re coming.
Dominic: Maybe. What time? And can I bring someone?
Harry: If this someone identifies as female and your primary goal is to get/keep her in bed, I’ll bring Del. She can make sure this isn’t another Elena.
Dominic: Joke’s on you, loser. Del’s already met her.
Harry: Name?
Dominic: Ally.
Harry: Hold please.
Harry: Del says and I quote “I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I KNEW HE WAS AFTER HER. Your wife is the smartest woman in the world. Suck it.”
Dominic: You two are what the annoying kids call #relationshipgoals.
Harry: Please tell me this woman isn’t under the age of 30 and that’s why you’re dusting off your pound signs. Because if I’m bringing my wife out and getting her too drunk to notice our murder duvet I don’t want to have to listen to her complain about grown men who insist on dating women young enough to be their daughters.
Dominic: She’s 39. That would have made me five years old when she was born.
Harry: Standing ovation gif. Wiping tears of gratitude gif.
Dominic: You know there are actual ways to send gifs instead of just explaining them.
Harry: Leave me alone. I’m old, and my kids are still too young to show me how to install a gif keyboard on my phone.
Dominic sent his standby middle finger selfie.
Harry: That’s the spirit.
* * *
To: Label NY Headquarters Staff
