Page 112 of Rock Bottom Girl
“What are you doing?”
“Multi-tasking.”
I unlocked my front door and unzipped my jeans in the span of 1.7 seconds before pushing her inside. She was more interested in wrestling my cock out than finding her phone, so I took charge.
I slammed the door and dumped her purse on the floor and kicked through the contents. She knelt down, and I thought she was going to pick up her phone, but then her mouth was on the crown, and her tongue was doing evil, beautiful things to the very sensitive underside.
“Mars! You gotta warn a guy before you—oh, fuck.”
I lost my balance and crashed back against the front door. The thump had Homer hurling himself down the stairs in a lather of barking and growling. From past experience, I knew it was dangerous to wave my wiener around when my dog was stirred up.
He wasn’t a biter by nature, but I’d had a couple of close calls after Uncle Max had bought Homer a flesh-colored hot dog toy.
“Marley, baby,” I pulled her to her feet and picked her phone off the floor. “I’m going to let Homer out. Text your parents. You’re not going home tonight.”
She nodded, looking a little dazed and a lot happy. “Okay.”
I jogged to the back of the house and sent Homer on his way into the backyard. “It might be a while, buddy,” I warned him.
Homer trotted outside, tail wagging, not a care in the world.
And I ran back inside to my lady.
48
Marley
Me: Don’t wait up tonight!
Mom: Wait up for what?
Me: Me to come home.
Mom: Why would I do that? You’re almost 40.
Me: I’m just saying I won’t be home tonight, and you shouldn’t worry.
Mom: Why won’t you be home tonight??? Did something happen??? Are you okay?
Me: Mom, I just said don’t worry.
Mom: TELL ME WHAT NOT TO WORRY ABOUT!
Me: I’m having sex with Jake. Okay? There. You made me say it. It’s your own fault, and now we can never make eye contact again. Don’t tell Dad.
Mom: Have fun at Bible study, sweetie.
Me: ???
Mom: Just kidding! I’m a cool mom. Condoms are fun. Make good choices!
“Everything all right?”
I jumped, and my phone and purse slipped out of my grasp and landed on the floor in the pile of tampons, loose change, and other bottom-of-the-purse rubbish.Was that a whole candy bar or just the wrapper?
Jake was standing at the foot of the stairs looking all kinds of sinful with his jeans still undone. His dark hair was a mess. His sleeves were pushed up, and there was a wild look in his eyes.
He’d let Homer out into the backyard. It was just the two of us. Alone. Horny.
