Page 12 of Coming Home to You
Kelsey
This has been the longest day of my life.The constant feeling of being on edge and the fact that the entire town now knows I have a mentally unstable stalker on my ass, hasn’t made for the most relaxing day.I’ve spent it hiding out in the back office of The Rockport Beach Inn with Bella sleeping at my feet.I muttered something about needing to catch up on paperwork to the two seasonal girls working the desk and neither questioned me.
Finn has been on high alert ever since the incident last night and although I appreciate all of his efforts, it doesn’t make me feel any safer.At this point, I feel like Jason would do anything to get to me and he proved that last night.He was bold enough to come to my house and knock on my door without caring that he was in total violation of the restraining order.Or maybe I was the naïve one because I opened the door.
I don’t even know how it got to this point.I went on a few dates with Jason and things went well, but there wasn’t really any chemistry.We dated off and on for a couple of months, but with him living in Boston and me working at the inn every weekend, it just didn’t pan out.We mutually agreed that it wasn’t in the cards for us and split.He seemed nice enough, but when he started coming by the inn every weekend, it began to creep me out a little bit.Looking back I feel like there were probably red flags that I missed, but I can’t beat myself up over it.I never led him on, I didn’t ask for this, and I definitely don’t deserve it.
I shudder at the thought of it all.Scared and pretty much alone, I fear for what may come.
All day I have felt terribly anxious, like someone is watching me, which could quite possibly be true.I have chewed my fingers bloody and my legs are far too restless to sit still, yet I’m so terrified to leave my office.I feel my chest constrict as I wonder if I’ll ever feel safe again; if I’ll feel safe in my home, at my work, in the town that I grew up in, a place that has always been a source of comfort and protection.Jason has robbed me of all of this, taken my freedom and taken control of my life.
I have no idea how long I’ve been sequestered in my office when Finn pokes his head in and smiles a bit at me.
“How are you?”he says, but there’s no simplicity or casualness to his question.He wants to know if I’ve fallen apart, if I’ve allowed Jason to fuck with my head.And the answer is, “I’m a shit ass mess.”
But instead, I respond with, “I’m okay.Thanks for asking.”
His eyes are full of pity as he asks, “You ready to head home?”
Finn insisted that he follow me in to work every day and back home at the end of each night until Jason is found.I agreed because what concerns me more than anything is that Jason has pretty much vanished since the incident.Finn’s guys have been all over Rockport and the surrounding towns, including Boston, to try and locate him, but each time they fall short.He seems to be a professional at evading the cops because every lead they get turns out to be a dead end.
I nod my head in response, but avoid making eye contact with him.With Bella in tow and Finn following behind, I head towards the front of the inn and out to my car.
When I reach the car I feel a hand connect with the small of my back and I flinch instantly and back away.Chills run over my entire body and I swallow back the lump that forms in my throat.I don’t want to cry.Just his hand on my back has turned into something that my body rejects.It was once a huge source of comfort, something Beck did every time we entered a room.I longed to feel Beck touch me back then, but now that simple gesture has been tarnished because of some psychopath.
“Sorry, Finn,” I say as I shake my head at my own stupidity.I knew it was Finn behind me.I shouldn’t have reacted that way, but I have no control over myself anymore.
“Kelsey, please,” he says and I walk right into his open arms, pressing my cheek against his chest and inhaling.He smells like I remember Beck smelling and although I should find comfort in that, I don’t.It makes me miss him; I miss him so much it hurts.But the anger I still harbor is very much real.
Finn’s arms wrap around me and he kisses the top of my head as the tears begin to form.I can’t control them, falling fast and soaking his shirt.
“I’m sorry, Finn.You don’t have to do this,” I whimper out between hard breaths.
He chuckles a little and I feel his chest rise and fall under my cheek.“Yes I do.You know Beck would kill me if anything happened to you.”
I pull away from Finn at the mention of Beck’s name and mumble as I climb into my car, “Yeah, like he gives a shit.”
Finn walks around to the passenger side, opens the door, Bella hops in and settles herself in the seat.Finn looks at me again with what I once mistook for pity.I was wrong the first time, what I see in his eyes is tension.The fact that this guy’s still on the loose seems to be wearing on him.I hate that I’m the reason for the stress in Finn’s life.He bore just as much of the burden and hurt when Beck left as I did.He hurt us both.
“I’ll meet you at your house?”he asks, quickly putting on a straight face.
“Yeah, but I’m just gonna drop Bella off and then run to the supermarket.I have nothing to eat.”
Finn sighs hard and I see the exhaustion of all of this come through.His job is tiring enough, but when you add in the stress of constantly having to keep tabs on me, I can’t even imagine.
“Would you mind just checking out my house before I drop Bella off?You can head home after that.”
“You sure?I really don’t mind going to the store with you,” Finn says, as I hear the fatigue in his voice.I don’t think he’s slept since Jason wrapped his hands around my neck and these damn bruises are just a reminder of it all.Every time Finn looks at me he sees them and his protective nature takes over.
“I’ll be fine, Finn.Just go through the house and once Bella’s in there, it’ll be all good.”
He nods his head and I smile at him trying to ease his worries and the stress he carries with him.
A few minutes later Finn has done a sweep of my cottage and Bella is resting comfortably on the couch.Nothing was out of the ordinary, so I feel a little bit less anxious about returning home for the night.
I thank Finn for all his help and tell him to go home and get some rest.He flashes me a tired smile before getting in his car and driving away.
Feeling just as exhausted, but far too hungry to forgo the trip to the supermarket, I grab a few canvas bags and hope to make this a quick run.
