I think about what Theo's getting at, what he's really saying. Our mother was an outsider who softened our father's edges without blunting them. She gave him something to fight for beyond territory and respect. I'd never considered the parallel before, but now I can't unsee it.
"I know it's fast," I admit, staring into my glass. "Crazy, even. But what did you expect from me? I've never done anything slow, or," I shrug, "the right way, if there is one in something like this."
Theo laughs. "No, you never have."
Ares hasn't said much, just looking down at his whiskey.
"Ares, come on man. I'm not a fan of who her father was, but he seemed to only have been her father by laws of nature, not because he raised her or earned it. And if she did save your brother's life, and was key in delivering to us who it was that went after Dad, planned to go after us, she's worth a chance at the very least," Theo says.
Ares looks up at me. "Okay. If you trust her, that's all that matters."
Coming from Ares, it's practically a blessing.
Theo lifts his glass. "To whatever this is. May it not get you killed."
I raise my glass in return. Ares doesn't join the toast, but he gives me a hard nod, his version of acceptance.
"You know," I say, downing my drink, "seeing each of you with a wife and family, it's got me thinking. I never wanted it until you two had it. Your women complement you. Help you. Give you someone to speak to at night, right your ship when rage pulls it too much in one direction. I want that. Fuck, if there's anyone in the room that needs help controlling things, it's me."
"It's hard," Ares says. "Every decision you make, every thought, somehow your mind finds a way to attach them to it. So you move in the world thinking about outcomes not for you or your brothers, but for them, too."
Theo nods. "Shit, very insightful, Ares," he says, laughing.
"What if your mind is already doing that?" I ask, looking at them. "Considering them at every turn. Wanting not so much what's best for you, but for them, too."
Ares and Theo look at one another and then back at me. "If that's true. If you're really thinking like that," Theo shakes his head, "then you're already too far gone,” he says with a smirk. “When Stassi left, you all saw what it did to me. Don't wait. Don't risk it. Seize the fucking moment."
"If and when you're ready," Ares says.
I think about their words for a moment and then get up.
"I should get back," I say, standing. My body aches in a dozen places from everything, but the pain feels distant now.
Theo follows me to the door, and Ares says he's going to stay for a bit.
Before stepping out, Ares calls out to me.
"Hey, Dimitri, Don't forget to call Calli."
"I won't," I say.
I shut the door, and Theo stops me in the hall.
"Hey, listen. Moving forward, and between you and me, Ares thinks Dad's death was his fault, so he's not going to be rational about things. I need you to help make him see things if he pushes back with me," he says and grabs my shoulder. "I'm serious about not all of us making it if we're stupid with Stavros. He's dangerous."
"Yeah, you know I'll do anything to help. It is kind of weird you asking me to not go and kill someone though," I say, and Theo laughs.
"We're all going to have to do things we normally wouldn't if we want to take down Stavros. Anyway, go get some sleep," he says, then narrows his eyes. "And tell her, welcome to the family."
I nod, and he walks off. I turn and go in the opposite direction.
I think of Athena waiting in our room, The only thing keeping me from falling into the abyss is her, the woman I'm going back to, the one I'd burn the world for if I had to.
But first, I need to grab something.
38
ATHENA