Page 54 of Tesio
That was the point, wasn’t it? Even if Grease and I liked each other, it wasn’t something that could last, was it? How many times could we screw and then yell at each other, and part again, ignoring each other for days. It wasn’t a relationship, that was for sure. It was a fling. A dalliance. Something that scratched an itch for a few days, but that was all. If it was more, he’d have reached out, or I would have, but instead, radio silence. He’d probably moved on, and I should too.
“I guess you’re right. I’m not dragging him back into the assault case though. He had my back, and he helped me, and I’m not dropping him in the shit for that. He didn’t have to help me. He didn’t have to risk getting hurt too.”
Alex snorted, turning back around to start the engine again.
“Yeah, big guy like him, I’m sure it was a big fucking risk.” He had a point about that too, didn’t he?
After my shift, Iwent home, had a shower, and something to eat, and then I sat on the sofa staring at my phone. I had to do something, say something. If I just blocked him, what was to stop him turning up at my door? If I just disappeared, he might end up looking me up, or if I ignored him now, and then turned up to investigate, he’d think we were still a thing. Were we even a thing? Ugh. This was so hard to figure out!
I tapped out a message and stared at it for ages, wondering if this was the best move, or the wrong move, or if it’d do the opposite of what I hoped, and bring him to my door. Or was that exactly what I wanted? One last naked tango before… before what? Alex was right. It’s all just too much of a risk. So what if Grease makes me feel things I’ve never felt before? Is that any reason to throw away all my hard work? Especially if for him it’sa five minute wonder. Getting it on with the police officer and laughing it off later.
Me:I think it’s best if we stay away from each other from now on. I enjoyed our little fling, but I need to focus on my career. I’m sure you understand. We’re too different, and probably bad for each other. Thank you, though, for saving me that night. I’ll stick to the story there. Goodbye, Grease.
There was no response for ages, and I ended up watching the door nervously, expecting to hear his fist pounding on it, and him demanding to talk to me. Was I secretly hoping for that? I felt like a bitch for sending it as a text, but if I spoke to him, or even worse, saw him, I’d weaken. One look at that smirk, and those wicked eyes, and I’d be a mess again, desperate for him.
Finally, agonising minutes or hours later, I got a response. Just one word.
G:Okay.
Okay? What the hell did okay mean? I mean, obviously it means what it means, but in this instance? In this context? Did it mean okay, I’ll stay away? Did it mean okay, I completely agree. Did it mean, okay for now, but I’ll show up when I feel like it, and you’ll swoon like a fucking teenager?
That was the option I was worried about, and probably secretly hoping for, but I had to make a clean break from him, so I blocked his number, and set the phone aside. Great. Now what would I do with all the other lonely hours of my life? I’d just thrown away the only potential relationship that would give me someone to spend time with outside of being on shift.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
One of the worstthings about this whole half and half fucking life was not knowing what I’d wake up to each day. I wanted it to be all things MC related, but Don Rossi was still pulling my fucking strings, and the end of everything I fucking loved was hanging over me, like a death knell. Dramatic, huh?
It was weird, but going back to the mafia life, that stuff compound, and all those rules… it kind felt like waiting for death, because right now I was living. I was fucking alive, and it felt so good.
“Hey, man. The uh… there’s a call for you in my office,” Micro said, giving me the side-eye, and telling me that the person on the phone was the one person I was starting to really fear hearing from.
“Thanks.” I headed in and closed the door, knowing he’d keep prying ears away while I chatted to my real boss, and by chatted, we all know I’ll do all the talking while he edges me with silence.
“Hello?”
“Tesio.”
Yep, definitely that cunt. Jesus, when did my respect for him disappear like that? It hadn’t. No I still really fucking respected the guy, I was just resenting the hell out of him.
“Morning, boss. Am I late with an update?”
Don Rossi actually chuckled, and trust me, that’s a chilling sound, especially when you don’t know the context. It could mean haha that’s funny, or haha I’m already plotting recipes involving your liver. Not that the guy’s a cannibal, just, fucking deadly.
“Are there any updates to give, Tesio?”
I had a feeling no was the wrong answer, but it was also the truth.
“Uh… I mean, we’re working on security upgrades since the fire, and rebuilding the tech suite somewhere other than that tiny room I’m stuck in. That’s… there’s kinda nothing else right now.”
He chuckled again, and okay, I changed my mind. I prefer the fucking silences instead, I understood the fucking silences.
“Is something wrong, boss?”
“There’s nothing else to talk about, Tesio? No other issues or situations? No other occurrences that a man in my position might need to know?”
Jesus fuck, had I literally forgotten something I was supposed to be updating him on?
“I uh… not that I’m aware of, boss. Can you elaborate?”
