Page 59 of Sanctuary at MacLeod's Cove
‘Yes, I can imagine that because that’s what Laura was like. Always thinking of others. How did you answer her question?’
‘I didn’t. And it kills me I didn’t give her an answer. And that’s what I’m doing here now, trying to figure out an answer.’
‘Have you found one yet?’
‘Only the one she supplied herself. That I was running away from my feelings. My heart.’
He looked up at the mobile of hearts, which swayed in the breeze, dangling from a corner of the caravan. He pointed to it. ‘She gave me that. As a reminder, she said.’
‘So you gave up everything and came here.’
‘That’s it in a nutshell.’
‘Seems we’ve both returned home to lick our wounds.’
‘Or to find ourselves again. Because one thing I have figured out,’ said Sam, ‘is that I left the best of me behind, here in MacLeod’s Cove.’
Before she considered what she was doing, she reached out and put her hand gently on his arm. ‘You’re a good man, Sam. Always have been and always will be.’
‘I haven’t always been, Jen. For a while I got lost in Sydney, working, playing, hardly seeing my wife. No wonder even the flash apartment in Wellington wasn’t enough for her, and she went off with someone else and divorced me. But’ — his gaze softened — ‘I know I was always there for my girl, Ailsa. And would be still if Sarah would give me a bit of leeway.’
‘But you’re catching up with her from time to time?’
‘Yes, and online, but I’d prefer it if Sarah would stop trying to punish me for being a rubbish husband and make it easier for us to meet.’
‘Perhaps if you talk to her?’
‘I’ve tried.’
‘Well, I hope Sarah lets go of her anger sooner rather than later. It can’t be good for Ailsa or her.’
‘You’re right there. Ailsa hates it. I’d love you to meet her sometime.’
Her surprise must have shown on her face.
‘No, of course not. I’m sorry. You’ve got your own stuff to deal with. And besides, it’s not like there’s…’ He stopped speaking as if he realised, if he continued, he’d dig himself a hole too big to get out of.
‘I’d love to,’ she said. ‘Does she live in New Zealand?’
‘No, but she’ll be back next month.’
‘It’s a date.’
‘Cool. You’ll like her. She’s a good kid. And she’d like to meet you.’
‘She knows about me?’
‘Er, yeah, I might have mentioned something.’
She laughed. ‘Sam Boyd. I don’t know if I want to know what you told her or not!’
He didn’t say anything, just searched her face. Her laughter died away.
‘I told her you were the one I let slip through my fingers when I was too young to understand that I should have done anything, said anything, to make you understand how much you meant to me. I told her you were back, but you’d changed.’
‘Oh.’ She tore her gaze from him and stepped away, raking her fingers through her hair. Her hopes had risen sky high, only to come crashing down again. ‘I guess I have,’ she said shakily.
‘Jen —’
