Page 16 of At the Sheikh's Pleasure
Chapter7
As soon as she’d retrieved her hijab from one of Zaire’s men, upon re-entering the stables, she felt as if she’d returned to normality.The brief respite from freedom—during which she’d felt like a regular woman with normal needs and desires and the possibility to fulfill these—was over.She was chained once more by her identity and her past.
After fixing her headscarf in the restroom, she returned to see Zaire leaning against the car, waiting for her.He waved in greeting.Her step faltered at the assumed familiarity.How could she have allowed herself to slip into such a casual relationship?Her thoughts must have been reflected in her expression because his smile slipped as he pushed himself off the car.
“Is everything okay?”he frowned.
“Of course,” she said, unable to meet his gaze.“But I need to get on with my work.I only have a few more days.”
He grunted, as if understanding the change in her.But how could he?How could anyone understand her when they hadn’t an inkling of what her life had been like, and all that she’d gone through?
“I understand.”She shot him a suspicious look.He held up his hands in mock surrender.“I do!You have to get back to your studies.And I assure you, I will help you in every way I can.”
Panic filled her at the thought of his continued presence.“There’s really no need for that.”
He stopped in his tracks.“You don’t want me to help you?”
She continued walking.“It’s not that, it’s just… I need to focus, to read through the papers, to…”
He waited for her to continue speaking, but she couldn’t think what else to say.He sighed as if her lack of words provided the explanation.“Have it your own way.I’ll have someone show you around.You have a few hours before dinner.”
“Wait!”she said, whirling around to face him.After the day they’d had, she suddenly felt ungrateful.“And thank you.I’m sure you had a million better things to do than take me to Queen Mandana’s palace.I appreciate it.”
He smiled at her.“I know you do.I could see how much you enjoyed it.But I wish you hadn’t lost that sense of enjoyment quite so quickly.”There was a call from inside the palace, and he looked around.“I must go.I’ll see you later.”
He walked through the palace foyer with the physical ease of an athlete.There was no doubt about it, he was incredibly attractive.What was she thinking?She was mad not to follow him.She lifted her hand and was about to call after him, but suddenly a phalanx of white-robed officials descended on him and closed ranks around him.Their progress through the lofty chambers was marked by a Mexican wave of officials bowing as the king walked by.
This was all smoke and mirrors, she thought, returning to her room to get changed.This was a mirage as much as the oasis in the desert had been.He was the king, and her enemy.There was no point spending time together unless it would further her academic career.No point at all.
Because her career was all she had.It was the thing she’d always escaped to.But, what she couldn’t understand was why that place of refuge didn’t feel like one anymore.
The throne roomwas out of bounds unless the king accompanied her, so she’d had to content herself with the magnificent library for the few remaining hours of the afternoon.
Her colleagues had told her what they’d found there.But they’d been looking for different things.Her specialty was royal traditions, and the library proved a treasure trove on this subject.But some of what she found related to traditions in her own country, and the pain that seeing such details, which brought back her homeland so clearly, brought her research to an abrupt halt.She sat back and squeezed her eyes shut as she tried, unsuccessfully, to blot out the memories of the last time she’d been surrounded by the suffocating ceremonies of the royal court.It had been on her wedding day.
She’d been too young.And, with no decent education, no mother, no aunt, no grandmother to guide her, the only clue about what to expect had come from what she’d witnessed among the animals in the desert, and the stables.But nothing she’d seen in the animal kingdom had been cruel, nothing had been perverted, nothing had prepared her for an old man who needed more than a beautiful young body to become aroused.
She’d told no one about what had happened to her or her continued suffering at his hands.Trauma had cut deep and cauterized the memories but, now, seeing the images of weddings and knowing what had lain behind hers, brought it all back.She hid in the corner of the library, slid down the wall and cried for the innocence she’d lost on her wedding night and the hatred and distrust for men which had taken hold of her then and had never let her go since.She hadn’t even realized how hard she’d become until now.Until she’d met a man who’d been kind, who had wanted nothing but to know her, and to understand her.But that man was the king, her father’s enemy.She lay her head on her arms and sobbed for everything she’d lost, and everything she could never have.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and she jumped up, swiping away her tears in panic that she’d be caught.To her relief, it wasn’t Zaire at the door—she doubted he would have knocked—but an official who handed her a note from the king inviting her to dine with him.She declined the invitation.She felt battered, confused and a wreck, certainly in no fit state to withstand Zaire’s flirtation.She’d opened up too easily to Zaire, and her memories of where that could lead to taunted her.No, she’d go straight to bed and then it would be business only in the morning.She just had to get through a few more days before she could leave these desert lands of painful memories.
She spent the remaining minutes of the day in the library, struggling to focus.Her brain power felt as scattered as her emotions felt shattered.In the end, she went to the far window with its view over the desert lands to where she was born and raised, and waited until night fell.
She’d forgotten how sudden was the change from day to night.In Oxford, the twilight was long as the light faded imperceptibly over hours.Here, it was as if a vast, star-studded cloak was suddenly flung over the land, hiding it from the light, taking the world from day to night with one swift movement.She sighed as she watched the lights flicker on—from the utilitarian lights of the palace public areas, to the more subtle lighting in the gardens below her.
She rose and collected her books.One thing was for certain, she wouldn’t be using those well-lit public areas to return to her suite of rooms.Unlike her colleagues who’d been lost within the labrynthine palace walls, not only had she been here before, she knew the layout of the palace, it being similar to the one in which she was raised.No, she intended to return to her rooms, unnoticed, through the gardens.
Darkness had settled even deeper by the time Rosana stepped out of the library buildings.She pulled her scarf lower around her face and hurried through the formal gardens, designed to impress.And they did.In this dry land, it was water which was revered, and it was water around which the design was based.Everywhere water reflected the star-studded indigo sky along with the tall dark trees which pierced it.As a night breeze rose, the reflections rippled on the surface of the ponds and rills, as if the world was shivering with anticipation, disintegrating before her eyes.
She didn’t pass anyone, for which she was thankful.She wanted to go directly to her room and stay there until she could access the throne room, do what she needed to do, and escape back to her well-ordered life.A life under control.A life without emotion and longing and the potential for pain.She wanted none of that.
As she approached the wing in which her rooms were situated, the gardens became more heavily planted, creating more intimate, private areas.She hurried even faster through these.At last she’d reached the end of the gardens and glanced behind her, hardly believing her luck that she’d made it this far without detection.She raised the heavy metal latch on the ancient door which led to the terrace from which she could access her room.
It was only when she’d closed the door behind her she realized she wasn’t alone.Zaire rose from a chair.Her heart leaped in her chest and instinctively she clutched it.It was the one thing she didn’t want activated.It was the one thing which spelled disaster for her well-ordered life of calm and safety.
“I thought I’d have to send out a search party for you,” he said in a casual tone.
She swallowed and forced herself to step forward.“I didn’t realize there was a curfew,” she said, forcing her tone into an equally casual one.She walked up the steps to the terrace.One quick glance revealed dinner and drinks, set for two.She swallowed again, forcing down the flutter of nerves.But they refused to leave.The breakdown in the library had left its mark.How the hell was she going to get through this?
