Page 65 of Entangled
I sighed loudly, making sure she heard it, before sitting in the chair across from her and giving her my full attention. My father’s death had truly changed her, making her rather bold.
“I’ve watched you grow from a rambunctious little boy into a man, and I know you and your brothers like the back of my hand. I have never seen you affected so strongly by someone that isn’t your family before,” she began, and I watched as the fire left her eyes and was replaced by sadness.
I hated being pitied more than anything, but I knew every bit of negative emotion I was feeling, my mom felt it tenfold.
“Soren brought you a happiness I haven’t seen in a long time. A happiness youdeserve.I don’t care what you have to do, you have to go after her. You can’t let her slip away. I know she would want you to.”
“I’m not good for her. I would just mess everything up and drag her right back where she didn’t want to be. She didn’t want the Mafia life anymore, ma. She made that perfectly clear. The life I live isn’t something she wants to be a part of.”
“My son, I think you’re forgetting that life is all aboutchoices.You’ve chosen this life for many years. You’re the one who can leave it all behind and go after the life that you truly want. To be with the woman you truly want to be with before you let her go forever.”
I hated how my mom always had a tendency to be right. How she always seemed to have an answer for everything wrong in my life.
“Mom, I don’t even know where she went,” I groaned, dropping my head in my hands, feeling like what she was telling me to do was impossible. But nothing was impossible when it came to the people you loved, right?
“Luckily for you, Vanessa has been kind enough to confide in me that she has kept contact with Soren, and knows where she may be,” my mother said with a smile, and I knew she’daccomplished exactly what she’d come here to do. Not only that, but she had finally caught a glimpse of my heart that I’d kept locked tight for so long.
“Tell me,” I said, a new wave of determination running through my veins. Soren was the light in my darkness, and my mother was right. I was a fool to let her walk away.
I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
29
SOREN
I sunkmy toes into the white sand of the beach, soaking up every bit of clear blue water that my eyes could handle. Coming to Bora Bora had been a split second, impulsive decision, but one I couldn’t bring myself to regret.
As soon as the money hit my account as promised by Finn, I decided that I wanted to take myself on a nice little vacation before I went back to reality, having chosen to settle down in Colorado. I wanted to be surrounded by mountains and trees, and my cute little cottage was already waiting for me when I got back.
But for now, I couldn’t get enough of the sun on my skin and the sand between my toes. I only had a couple days left; the week having flown by faster than I could handle.
I’d gotten a job at a quaint art studio in town not far from my cottage, about a ten-minute drive, and a second job bartending on the evenings and weekends. It seemed so normal that I relished in it. I hadn’t ever had a taste of normal, so I was going to jump in the deep end.
I’d never had to worry about money before or tending to things myself. I’d always had someone to guide me, or controlme, or do things for me. Now I was truly on my own. It felt like I’d jumped without a parachute.
But a majority of the time, it felt like I had finally learned how to spread my wings andfly.I’d pushed back against the wind that tried to pull me down, sending me back to the hole I’d crawled so hard to get out of.
Nothing would take me back to that place again. I wouldn’t let it.
I had goals and dreams swimming in my head that I refused to let die again. I wanted to save up and open a huge exhibit in Colorado and showcase local art. I hadn’t wanted to take more money from my marriage with Jude and from Lilah’s death than I could swallow, wanting to cut my ties with them entirely. The two million dollars from Finn was just enough to not make me want to hurl every time I thought of it. It was always destined to be my money, even though they thought to take it for themselves, so it dulled the thought inside me.
It allowed me this time in paradise, a fresh start, a safety net, and the possibility to fuel my once dead dreams.
Laying in the sun, running a hand through my newly chopped hair, my mind couldn’t help but flash to Kade because he helped the girl with dead dreams who’d been growing soulless by the day get out of that hole she’d been in so long. I’d been screaming at the top of my lungs and clawing to get out, and he reached his hand out to grab mine and pull me out. It may not have been his intention at first, since he pulled me out for his own gain, but he ended up saving me, while taking my heart at the same time.
Never in a million years did I expect myself to actually fall in love with a Mafia man. Well, that’s not true. I’d hoped to fall in love with my husband, but he ruined that as soon as we said our vows.
I tried to have hope that something good could come out of the arranged marriage, and like some silver lining could come out of the bullshit. But no, I couldn’t be that fortunate. Instead I fell in love with the man who was supposed to be the secondary villain in my life.
I had no intention of ever leaving Kade, or turning my back on the one bit of love I ever truly felt. But asking him to walk away from his family was something I couldn’t bring myself to do. Not to mention he was acting so cold towards me when we got to his mother’s house for that meeting. It hurt less to walk away then, rather than have rejection staring me in the face later. At least walking away gave me control over the situation. I was the one who decided to cause myself pain for once, instead of someone else.
I tried to pull myself back out of that headspace, trying to keep with the good vibes. Butfuck, I missed Kade. I missed the way his skin felt against mine, and the way he smelled, and the way I could make him smile, and the way he felt inside me.
I had an ache that I wondered if it would ever be filled. Nothing could replace that storm of a man who had blown into my life and swept me entirely off my feet.
I couldn’t help but feel pissed off at this man for wiggling into my mind while I was trying to relax and enjoy my little sliver of peace.
I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind, trying to clear it of all the negativity that strived to drag me down.
