Page 15 of Girl Code
They’d heard the shots. They’d known the active shooter drills that they’d been repeating year after year since before they even learned to read. They’d taken cover. Their teacher had locked the door and called for help but it had felt like an eternity before anyone showed up to tell them they could come out of their hiding places, that it was okay.
Until today, that had been the scariest day of Mickey’s life. Just like today though, she’d had Dante there with her. Just like today, he’d thrown his body in front of hers in an attempt to protect her. He’d held her afterwards and told her that he’d never let anyone hurt her, and today he’d proven it all over again.
Mickey swallowed past the lump in her throat, “It was easier.”
“What?”
“It was easier to stay away from you if I believed you worked for them. It was easier to blame you, to hate you. I convinced myself that if you were the kind of man that could work for them then you weren’t the man I thought I knew at all and that made it okay to cut you out of my life.” She wiped at her cheek, afraid a tear had leaked out from her damp eyes and shook her head, “I’m so sorry, Dante.”
He blew out a rough breath but tightened his grip around her. He simply held her for a long time and she let him. She wrapped her own arms around his and leaned her head against his.
“I get it.” He finally whispered. “It was easier to dismiss me if you could demonize me.”
“Dante, I…”
“No. I get it. I do.” He assured her. “I think some part of me just always hoped that at least one person knew the truth. I thought you’d have hacked me ages ago and figured it all out. I think in the back of my mind I had to believe that you knew the truth and didn’t think the worst of me or else I wouldn’t have been able to do it.”
“I’m sorry.” She said again and he kissed her shoulder. “Maybe if it had been someone else that told me about your job, that you had taken a position working for NAGOR…”
“Someone other than Tiffani.”
“Yeah.” She bit her lip. “Yeah, I think… I think hearing it from her hurt too much for me to think it through logically.”
“God. I made a mess of everything.”
“No. It wasn’t just you. It was me too.” She found his hand and linked their fingers together, “If it makes any of this better, knowing that Tiffani was as in the dark about the real reason you were working for NAGOR as I was, kinda helps.”
He snorted, “Does it?”
“Weirdly enough, it does.” Mickey shrugged, “That makes me a horrible person right?”
“No. Not at all. Possessive maybe but I like you that way.”
They fell silent again for a long time. The hot water started to cool. Dante traced patterns over her skin and caused goosebumps to rise in his wake. They simply sat together, silent, comfortable, and Mickey tried to let all of her old hurts go.
She couldn’t blame herself for falling in love with him anymore. She couldn’t blame him for loving her in return. They’d been stupid kids and they’d made some bad choices.
Dante was one of the good ones, even if he’d made his mistakes.
She let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding, “Dante?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something now?”
“Anything.” His lips curled into a smile she could feel against the skin of her neck.
“You broke up with Tiffani after that night but she never confronted me about it. In fact, we’ve never spoken about it, about you two breaking up, at all. I’ve always wondered… what did you tell her?”
“The truth.” He answered easily and Mickey nearly jerked upright in the tub, would have except that his strong arms around her kept her in place. “Not the whole truth.” He snorted, “But the truth.”
“You didn’t tell her about us.” Mickey argued. “There’s no way she’d have let that go all this time.”
“No. I didn’t tell her about us. I’d already ruined my friendship with you. I didn’t want to ruin yours with her too.” Dante settled her back against his chest and tucked his chin over her shoulder, “We’d been having problems anyway. I was pushing her away. I knew I wasn’t in love with her because I was in love with you.”
“Dante…”
“I just told her the truth, Mick. I told her I was in love with someone else. I didn’t tell her who, of course I didn’t, but I don’t think Tiffani is stupid.”
