Page 16 of Safe
“But what’s that got to do with us?”
“I don’t want to drag you down.”
“You’re not. You won’t.” Cruz shook his head forcefully when Trevor looked less than convinced. “I don’t give a shit who you play for or if it’s in Fenway or the fucking North Forty Field. I’m in love with you. Not the jersey you wear.”
“What if I don’t wear a jersey at all?”
Cruz cocked his head. “What?”
“My knee.” Trevor sighed heavily, as if just saying the words weighed heavy on him. “I’m done, Cruz. I can’t keep going like this. Some days when I squat behind the plate, I’m not sure I can get back up. My knee is going and Upton knows it. He’s been charitable letting me play this long, but…”
“You’re retiring?” Cruz blinked in shock. “But you love baseball more than anyone I know.”
“I do love baseball, but I love you more.”
He simply stared at the handsome man in bed beside him. He still wasn’t sure what the two things had to do with each other. So they were at different points in their career. That didn’t matter to him. It wasn’t as if he was going to hit the big leagues and change who he was at his core or what he wanted.
He wanted Trevor. Only Trevor. Forever.
“If I give up baseball, I can come out of the closet.” Trevor finally gave him the puzzle piece to link it all together. “I can come out. I can be gay. Openly. But it doesn’t mean I have to be linked to you. It’s going to be a shitshow since I’ve lied for so long, and I don’t want to drag you into my mess. It isn’t fair to you.”
Cruz softened, cupping Trevor’s cheek. “You silly, ridiculous man. I love you. If you come out, you’re damn sure going to be linked to me. I’m not giving anyone else a shot at you. You aren’t dragging me into anything. I’m walking in with my eyes wide open.”
“You saw the shitshow Trent went through when he came out. He thought he was ready for it, but he wasn’t and Lance…”
“They made it through. So will we.”
Trevor stared at him for a long moment. Brows furrowed. Jaw tense. He slid his fingers through Cruz’s hair again and again. He cuddled closer, into the touch, trying to prove to this man he wasn’t going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.
“We won’t be teammates anymore,” Trevor finally said.
“I don’t care about that.”
“Don’t dismiss it so lightly. It’ll change things. We won’t be on the same schedule. No more sharing rooms. Locker rooms or hotel rooms. No more sharing headphones on the bus or a plane. If we’re not teammates, we won’t be able to be together 24/7 like we’re used to.”
Cruz felt his own brows furrow. Trevor was right. He hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“We’ll figure it out.”
“We’ll be in different states and—”
“What if you came with me? To Chicago?” He cut Trevor off and then bit his lip. “I mean, if you’re retiring then…why not? What’s stopping us from being together other than ourselves?”
Trevor’s lip pursed again. “I’m not just going to follow you around like a lost puppy with no purpose.”
“That’s not what I meant either… I mean, I can get you a job with the Skylines if they think that highly of me right? I can—”
“Cruz.” There was a warning tone in Trevor’s tone, and Cruz instantly winced because he knew he was only making it worse.
“Sorry. Shit. That sounded like—”
“Like you want me to be your kept man.” Trevor grinned suddenly, laughter in his voice. “You’re usually better with words than this, baby.”
Cruz chuckled in return. “You’re right. I am. But I’m also good with actions so… How about you let me show you how much I love you right now? I’ll show you why no matter where we go or what happens next, we’ll make it work because we’re right for each other.”
Trevor bit his lip and groaned when Cruz slid a hand down his stomach and toyed with his cock. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. We were made for each other.”
