Page 68 of Should've Been Us
“Derek.” She moved further into the room, “Talk to me. If there’s something you need to say, say it. We’ve always been able to talk aboutthings.”
His dark eyes pinned her in place, “That’s not trueeither.”
“Oh.” Heat flushed her cheeks at the admission she hadn’texpected.
“We never talked about… us.” Derek cleared his throat and motioned to a chair, “Do you want to sit down? Maybe we should sit down.I…”
“I can’t.” Lulu pulled her spine straight and met his eyes, “If I wrinkle this dress Aubrey’s going to kill me. I’llstand.”
“Oh. Right.” It was Derek’s turn to flush slightly but he took a deep breath and met her eyes, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, Lu. For everything. You’re my best friend. You’re my oldest friend. And I’m sorry I hurtyou.”
Lulu swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting Derek to say, but that hadn’t been it. She suddenly wished that she could sit down because her legs felt a little wobbly on this new, unevenground.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything. Itwas…”
“I do.” He cut her off, “I do have to apologize because I knew. I knew how you felt and I knew what you wanted from me and I should have nipped it in the bud a long time ago because I knew I didn’t and couldn’t feel the same way. I thought, well I guess I thought ignoring the issue would make it go away but it didn’t and I hurt you. I hate that I hurt you and I want us to go back to being the friends who talk to each other about everything, if wecan.”
Lulu chewed on the inside of her cheek as he spoke. He wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t already put together. Connor had told her that Derek knew about her feelings. It had hurt then and it hurt now, but it didn’t change anything. Derek was only apologizing now because he wanted to relieve some of his guilt before he got married. Lulu gave a sad shake of her head and his hopeful smilecrumbled.
“We can’t go back to how we were, Dare. We aren’t kids anymore. You’re marrying Aubrey. She’ll be your wife. She’s the woman you’ll share everything with from now on.” She bit her lip, “And I’m withConnor.”
“I know. That’s…” Derek ran a hand through his dark hair, mussing it up, “That’s why I wanted toapologize.”
“Because ofConnor?”
“Because you’re both my best friends and I should have stepped aside and let you explore this thing between you a long timeago.”
The words sounded eerily familiar and she knew it was because Connor had already told her about his conversation with Derek. Connor had told her about the talk they’d had and what Derek had said. Connor was the one that talked to her and told her everything, just like it was supposed tobe.
All of the tension that had built in her muscles upon seeing Derek released suddenly and she smiled with the knowledge that everything was going to be fine. She and Derek were friends. Connor and Derek were friends. Derek had Aubrey and she had Connor and they would all be friends for the rest of their lives because nothing could come between them if this hadn’talready.
“Derek.” She said his name and he glanced up from where he’d dropped his head, “You don’t have to apologize. We’re good. I promise. I’m grateful that I get to be a part of my best friend’s best day. I’m happy that we’re still friends and we always will be. I’m happy for you andAubrey.”
“And you?” Derek lookedwary.
“What aboutme?”
“You’re happy? With Connor? He makes youhappy?”
Her smile was as easy and natural as falling in love with the man had been, “Hedoes.”
“I can tell.” Derek returned her smile with a soft, knowinglook.
“Youcan?”
“I haven’t seen you as relaxed as you’ve been this week in a long time, Lu. I’m sorry for that.I…”
“We’re done with that now.” She cut him off again. “No more apologizing to each other. No more hurting each other. Let’s just, let it go and be happy for each other. Be friends. Like we were always supposed tobe.”
Derek looked relieved and nodded quickly, “Okay.Friends?”
“Forever.” She nodded and when he opened his arms, she went into them for ahug.
It was light and friendly. They didn’t cling to each other. It wasn’t awkward or complicated. It was just two friends hugging each other and then moving apart to go along on their own paths with the people theyloved.
The way it always should’vebeen.
