Page 21 of Once Upon a December
Dawson chuckled, “You’re a good friend then, which is nice to learn about the man that my brother has fallen head over heels in love with.”
Felix couldn’t help it, he blushed, “I… uh… did he tell you that?”
“You know Gibson.” Dawson shrugged, “He didn’t put it in quite so many words but it was fairly obvious the last time I spoke to him, which is how I also knew he was pretty upset.”
“Upset?” Felix flinched.
“With himself, of course. He told me that he thought he’d driven you away by refusing to come to this party. I told him if he was really that concerned he should just man up and put on his suit and come down here but…”
“He said he couldn’t.”
Dawson gave him a look that was so much like his brother it made Felix’s heart ache. God, he missed Gibson. He shouldn’t have been so attached to the man after only a month that two days apart felt like a slow death, but it did.
“He’s just not ready yet.” Dawson sighed, looking suddenly as weighted down as his brother as well, “I honestly didn’t think he’d ever be ready but, hearing how upset he was thinking he was losing you…”
“Wait, what?” Felix shook his head, “He’s not losing me. Why would he think that?”
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you?”
Felix winced at what felt like a low blow but from the innocent look on Dawson’s face he didn’t think it had been meant that way at all. It only hurt because he knew how true it was. It hurt because he did know why Gibson would think that Felix was giving up on him. Felix had been avoiding him, even if he’d tried to lie to himself about it and just say he was busy. He’d been avoiding his boyfriend since that argument they’d had about the party.
He’d told Gibson that he understood why he couldn’t come to the party and that was the truth. He did. He understood why Gibson couldn’t fathom coming to this party after what he’d lost. But that didn’t mean Felix hadn’t still been hurt by his refusal to even consider it, for him, or his inability to see why Felix wanted him to be there by his side in the first place. He’d been hurt when he left Gibson’s house that morning but he saw now, through Dawson’s eyes, how much more he’d been hurting Gibson by pushing him away in the aftermath.
This time of year was already so hard for Gibson. He hated Christmas and everything it represented. He’d lost his family and now he was sitting at home alone worrying that he’d lost Felix as well because his boyfriend had been too focused on himself to realize that what Gibson needed to put the past behind him wasn’t to attend some party with a bunch of near strangers. Gibson just needed Felix to be with him, which was all Felix had really wanted when he asked Gibson to come to the party in the first place.
“I’m not giving up on him.” He shook his head again.
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Dawson gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I think you’re good for him, Felix. He’s seemed… lighter… since he met you. I don’t want to see him go back to the dark place he was in before you came into his life so please, give him time. He’s making progress but he’s spent a lot of years alone and he doesn’t always get the words right when he tries to explain how he feels.”
Felix swallowed hard, “You’re wrong. He’s never had a problem telling me how he feels. I’m the one that didn’t listen. He told me he loved me and I… dammit I wish I’d just told him that I wanted to be with him too.”
“Hey. It’s Christmas. Everyone should be with the person they love on Christmas.”
“But the party…”
“Something tells me you and Gibson planned this thing to all but run itself but your assistant is here if anything goes awry and so am I. We can be the representatives for you and Gibson tonight, if you want us to be.”
Felix stared at the man that looked so much like the one he loved. But Dawson wasn’t Gibson. Gibson was harder and more difficult and a pain in the ass. Felix loved all of those things about him. He loved Gibson. He’d known that he did for a while now but when Gibson had given him the words, he’d been too hurt to give them back to him.
But it was Christmas, just like Dawson had reminded him, and that meant he could still give Gibson a gift. His heart. He had to give Gibson his heart and hope that he hadn’t made it impossible for the man he loved to still love him in return.
“You’d do that? For me?”
Dawson smiled, “And for Gibson. He deserves to be happy. You both do.”
“Thank you.” Felix hugged the other man which surprised him into a big laugh, “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I was thinking but…”
“It’s fine. Just go.”
“I need to tell Beau I’m leaving and…”
“Just go.” Dawson chuckled, “I’ll handle Beau.”
Felix grinned and the other man smiled back at him. Something told him that Dawson Frost could indeed handle Beau. The man was clearly wise beyond his years. He’d gone through so much at such a young age. He’d lost his parents and then he’d watched his older brothers take on the burden of the Frost legacy. But somehow, Dawson seemed to have come through unscathed, or at least less damaged than the rest of them, and Felix knew that must have been in large part due to the way Gibson had stepped up in his youngest brothers life as a role model.
He was a good man, just like his brother.
“Thank you, Dawson.”
