Page 89 of Because You're Mine
“How many people have you sacrificed because of your ambition? How many have you kept at arm’s length until they drifted away? You’ve convinced yourself that you’re more comfortable alone. Life is damned safe and convenient that way, isn’t it? You’ve been cursed with an amazing autonomy, Jimmy—just like Rochester and me.” He smiled bleakly at whatever it was he saw in Logan’s eyes. “Do you want to hear something strange? She asked me to help you.”
“Helpme?” Logan heard himself ask incredulously. “I’m not the one who needs help.”
“That’s a debatable point,” Andrew mocked, laboring to produce a smile. “Let’s talk in the morning, brother…I’m damned exhausted and drunk. In the meanwhile, you might consider going to your wife and begging her not to leave you.”
Fifteen
Logan wanderedto his private suite in a daze, feeling as if his safe, comfortable world had been turned upside down. There had been too many surprises of late…the news of his own impending fatherhood, the discovery that he was Rochester’s bastard, Andrew’s death and subsequent reappearance. Nothing but such an onslaught would have been able to break his defenses. In the middle of it all, only one thing had remained steady and unchanging. Madeline…generous, affectionate, resilient, showing him in every way possible that she loved him.
He needed her, but he could hardly bear to admit it, even to himself. Madeline would have to content herself with what he could give, and not ask for more. Summoning his reserves of weary determination, he entered the bedroom. He found his wife sitting on the edge of the mattress, her small hand clasped to her stomach. The odd expression on her face made his heart lurch in sudden panic.
“What is it?” he asked, coming to her swiftly.
“I felt the baby move,” she said in wonder.
Startled, Logan could only stand and stare at her. His fingers twitched at his side, and suddenly he wanted badly to touch her, to feel the minute vibrations of his child moving within her. The effort of holding back caused a tremor to run through him, a barely perceptible shiver.
The softness left Madeline’s face, and she rose from the bed. She went to the armoire, and it was then that he saw the valise she had pulled from the lower shelf.
“What is that for?” he asked sharply.
Her voice was taut and low. “I’ve decided I don’t want to live here anymore.”
Incredulous anger surged through him, and he replied with jeering softness. “You don’t have a choice, madam.”
“Yes, I do. Unless you physically restrain me, you have no way of keeping me here.”
“I had no idea this was so unpleasant for you,” he said, gesturing to their luxurious surroundings. “If you haven’t been happy, you’ve given a damned convincing imitation.”
“You seem to have a way of making me happy and miserable at the same time.” Madeline pulled out a pair of gloves, an armload of linens, and a lace scarf, jamming the articles into the valise. “Obviously I’ve been a terrible inconvenience to you. However, once I learn to stop loving you, everything will be much easier for both of us.”
Logan strode to her and stood in front of the armoire. “Maddy,” he said gruffly, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier. I was worried about you. Now set that thing aside and come to bed.”
She shook her head, her eyes prickling with impatient tears. “I’ve finally given up, Logan. You’ll never stop punishing me for having hurt you. You wait for every opportunity to show me that you can walk away without a backward glance—you’ve made your point often enough. I admit I’ve been a fool for hoping you might change. Now all I want is to get away from you and find some peace.”
Her quiet stubbornness infuriated him. “Dammit, you’re not going anywhere.” He took hold of her shoulders and was shocked to feel the quick sting of her hand on his cheek. She had slapped him.
“Let go of me,” she said, breathing fast and glaring at him.
It was as unexpected as being bitten by a butterfly. Bewildered, outraged, Logan bent his head to kiss her, trying to soften her the only way he knew how. Instead of offering her usual sweet response, she was stiff in his arms, her mouth cold beneath his. For the first time he discovered the streak of iron that Madeline hadn’t revealed until now. Staring at the small, unyielding stranger before him, he let his hands fall away.
“What the hell do you want from me?” he asked roughly.
“I would like the answers to a few questions.” Her amber eyes searched his. “Was it true, what you said this afternoon? That my only value is the baby I’m carrying?”
He felt his face darken with a flush. “I was angry with you for putting yourself in danger.”
“Did you marry me only because of the baby?” she persisted.
Logan felt as if she were systematically chipping away at him, weakening his foundations with the intention of making him crumble. “Yes, I…no. I still wanted you.”
“And still loved me?” she half-whispered.
Logan scrubbed his hands through his hair until it was in wild disarray. “Dammit, I won’t discuss this.”
“All right.” Calmly she turned away and resumed packing.
Logan made an infuriated sound and took hold of her from behind, ignoring the way she stiffened. He breathed in her scent, rubbing his mouth at the nape of her neck. His raw voice was muffled in her flowing hair. “I don’t want to lose you, Maddy.”
