Page 256 of Rosetti Family New York
Lucas closes his eyes, like the words are too much. Knives, cutting him to the bone. But they're not enough. Not nearly enough.
"I'll find a way to make this right," he says. "I promise, Sloane. I'll fix it."
"How?" I shout. "How do you fix this?"
I want to grab him by the collar and demand he take it back. Take back Maddy's death, take back his silence, take back every fucking secret he kept. I want to shake him and make him tell me why. Why he left me in the dark. Why he let her die.
Instead, I let my arms fall to my sides, limp and useless.
"I don't know," Lucas says, his voice a broken whisper.
We're all a mess. The three of us, standing there with the wind rushing past. Rafe is a storm cloud, silent and dark, waiting to explode. Lucas is a downpour, steady and hopeless, desperate for a break. I'm the crack of lightning, ready to split everything apart.
Lucas takes a breath, but it sounds more like a sob.
"I think about it every night. How she looked when she found out. I'd never seen her that angry. Or that scared," he says.
Lucas turns to me, his voice heavy with regret.
"I didn't want to die. But now… every day feels like a punishment."
Rafe's voice cut through the tension, flat and unyielding.
"Not enough of one."
Lucas closes his eyes, as if bracing for a physical blow that never comes. Rafe remains still, the air thick with unspoken words.
"I'm sorry," Lucas says. "I'm so fucking sorry."
The words hang in the air, spinning between us.
Then they fall, drop from the rooftop to the ground far below. Lucas drops with them.
He sinks to the ground, his head in his hands.
"Maddy died because I was too weak to help her," he says, his voice muffled by his grief.
It feels like I've been falling forever. I don't know if I'll ever hit the ground.
"I can't do this," I say, stepping back, turning away.
Lucas looks up, frantic, his eyes wide and wild.
"Please, Sloane. I need you. I don't have anyone else," he says, each word a crack in his voice.
I shake my head. "And what about me?" I say. "What do I have?"
The world spins around me. Everything is off-kilter. I want to be steady, but it's impossible.
"Tell me what I'm supposed to do," he says. "Tell me, and I'll do it."
I turn my back, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
Lucas lets out a sound like an animal in pain. It echoes off the empty rooftop. I feel it in my bones.
"I wish it was me," he says. "I wish it was me instead of her."
He is a wreck, a mess of apologies and pain and tears that never come. His voice shakes, then disappears.
