Page 53 of A Me and Him Thing
I wanted this to happen naturally without a weird discussion.I’m ready to kiss you now, Ren.Ugh.
Can you imagine? So clinical, which takes away all of the heart-racing emotion of the moment.
I’m dying to be kissed by someone who actually loves me. Not a second-class stand-in. Not a friend forcing herself on her best friend’s husband.
He walks away from me, standing at my front window and staring into the distance. His arms are folded, his posture tense.
I stand and follow him. Mandy objects, meowing at me over and over. “Ren?”
His silence is killing me. I feel like he’s already answered me. Why am I pushing for more?
He faces me again, his expression dark and intense. I’ve always known there’s deep emotion underneath his façade, but I wasn’t expecting this. It takes me back.
“I want to be with you, Bree. I want to spend time with you. I love being together. I’ve loved every minute we’ve shared.”
There’s more, I’m sure of it. I wait for him to go on.
“Butthis, what we have right now, it’s all I can give you. Nothing more. I’m so sorry.”
I close my eyes, feeling as though he just slapped me in the face. I’m used to Ren leaving me speechless, but not for this reason.
He continues. “It’s the way it has to be. Can’t we just keep things the way they are?”
I know my face registers shock. I can’t hide it. “You mean you want to be friends and that’s all? Nothing more. All this time, that’s all you’ve ever wanted from me?”
“I told you that from the beginning.”
“But spending time with me insinuates more will come in the future. Right? Or am I mistaken?” I’m proud of myself for remaining calm, for not becoming wild, unhinged Bree. I’m changing, learning to be better. Even though this conversation is killing me.
He runs his hand through his hair, and I sense frustration within him. “No, you weren’t mistaken. It’s not the right time, though.”
“Not the right time? Will there be a right time?”
“Yes.”
“Just not now?”
He nods.
“What are you not telling me?” I whisper, the sound traveling across the room and hitting him in the face.
He evades my question. “Why now, Bree? What changed?”
“We’ve been seeing each other for what? Around three months? I’m attracted to you. I have been from the very beginning. I assumed you were moving slowly for my sake. I’m ready now. I want this. I want you.”
He shakes his head in the negative.
“I’m in love with you, Ren.You.I’m giving you my heart. Are you turning me away?” I can’t hide the hitch in my voice.
Ren looks into my eyes without wavering. “No. I love you, Breanna Kingston. More than you know.”
All I’ve wanted my entire life is to have a man look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me and mean it. How can this be the best and worst moment at the same time?
“You do?”
“Yes, but I…” he starts, then his phone rings.
“Just ignore it.”
