Page 47 of A Me and Him Thing
“They are. That’s what I want for my birthday, by the way.”
I fake an airy laugh while the cold hard truth hits me smack dab between the eyes. Here, of all places. Why did this revelation have to come to me right now? Piled on top of everything else I’m dealing with today.
If Ren was waiting for me to be ready for a relationship, he would welcome my touch. He would be happy that I’m finally on the same page as him. Right?
A raging war of thoughts is battling in my head, a fight of epic proportions.
Quinn’s next gift is a set of baby bandana drool bibs. I boldly place my hand on Ren’s leg and say, “Those are great. When kids are teething, they drool like crazy.”
“I’ll keep them in mind for when I’m old and gray.” He hops to his feet again rather quickly, effectively shaking off my touch. “Would you like something to drink? Water, soda, juice?”
I’m a little stunned. “Um…water’s fine. Thank you.”
Josie and Jordyn come running toward me and ask if they can sit with me. I pick them up and settle them on my lap. Either they’ve grown or my lap is getting smaller. It doesn’t matter, they’ve saved the day. I need a distraction. It feels so good to hold them close, run my fingers through their hair, and kiss the tops of their heads.
They know me, and they remember me. I cared for them for two years of their lives. We have a bond that will never be broken, and I will never regret the time I spent with them.
Ren returns with my water. His eyebrows rise as he studies me thoughtfully. “There’s something different about you. I’m not sure what it is, but it’ll come to me in a minute.”
I wish he wouldn’t make me laugh when I’m dying on the inside. I hug Josie and Jordyn a little tighter, making Ren smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Did I mention I love his smile?
I let the girls have my water. They take turns taking little sips.
“Kids look good on you, Bree,” Ren comments.
I know they do. It’s because my inner happiness can’t help but radiate through every pore of my skin.
Quinn notices me cuddling with her babies and sends me a tender smile, which I promptly return.
Josie and Jordyn remain on my lap until all the presents have been opened, which takes nearly an hour. My legs are pretty much numb, but I’m not complaining.
Too-cute-to-eat cupcakes are passed around next, and the Grandma Gang takes the girls to the kitchen to eat their treats.
After we finish our cupcakes, Ren glances at his watch. “Sorry, we should be going soon. It’s two and a half hours back to Portland.”
“Okay, I’ll say my goodbyes.”
I share a few words and a long hug with Quinn, then I visit the powder room before our drive. When I exit the hallway, I run into Sawyer.
“It means a lot to Quinn that you came today. She still wants to maintain a friendship with you, and I respect her wishes.”
“It means a lot to me to be here.” It means the world to me. It means forgiveness might be mine. At least, Quinn’s forgiveness.
“I know it does. You know you can see the girls anytime, right?”
“I do. Thanks, Sawyer. I hope you can forgive me one day. I know I behaved horribly, and I’m truly sorry.” I wish I could remind him that it was around twenty-four hours of temporary insanity. It wasn’t my usual behavior, even though I’ve always been outspoken. I eventually came to my senses. Unfortunately, the damage I caused in that time period is irreversible.
Sawyer expels his breath heavily. “Appreciate that. Look, I can forgive and forget. Truth is, it just doesn’t matter anymore.”
Ouch. “I understand.” My voice cracks. I have his forgiveness, but I completely lost Sawyer’s trust and respect. At least he still trusts me with his children. That says a lot.
When I turn to leave, I notice Ren standing by the door waiting for me and watching my exchange with Sawyer. He’s so serious, and I wonder what he’s thinking.
There’s this moment where we just stand there staring at each other. No words, no smiles, no laughter. Just me and Ren.
A man approaches to talk with him, and the moment is over. But I continue to watch as they converse. Almost immediately, the man laughs at something Ren says. Of anything, I love that about him the most.
I find Josie and Jordyn, give them kisses goodbye, and head for the door.
