Page 37 of A Me and Him Thing
“You sound pleased. I’m happy for you, Bree.”
“Guess what? I finally did Hood to Coast.”
“You did? You’ve always wanted to do it. That’s so wonderful. Look at you, fulfilling your dreams.”
Sweet, sweet Melanie. Encouraging and effusive. She always makes me feel good about myself. I want to return the favor so much, it hurts.
It was amazing to spend so much precious time with Ren. “Well, I didn’t actually compete in it. Ren was driving the van for his former team and asked me to join him. We had twenty-four hours together in the confines of the van. I mean, other than when we caught a few hours of sleep. But the rest of the time, we talked. Nonstop, like we could hardly get our thoughts out fast enough. I’ve never connected with someone like that. It was like…”
We both saymagicat the same time, imitating a movie line fromSleepless in Seattle, but neither one of us needs to verbalize it. We both know. We’ve watched the movie together a hundred times.
“Yeah,” I say. “I’m finally experiencing magical moments.”
“It’s your turn, Bree. You deserve it.”
“I’ve missed you, Quinn. So, so much.”
“I’ve missed you too. Actually, that’s why I’m calling. I wanted to catch up, but there’s something else too.”
I hear the tentativeness in her voice, and dread fills my soul.
Quinn lets a few beats of silence pass before continuing. “A friend is throwing me a baby shower on Saturday morning. I would love to have you there. An invitation should be arriving in the mail. I just wanted to give you a heads-up. If you can’t come, I understand. I really do. I know this is hard, really hard, and I know it might be too uncomfortable for you. I get it, and I won’t be upset if you can’t do it. But I wanted you to know that I want you there. It won’t feel right without you.”
My breath hisses through my lips as I release it.
Quinn goes on. “The thing is, the lady who planned it decided it would be a couple’s shower. She hates leaving out the father.”
Ouch. A hard situation just got harder.
“Of course, there’s no hard-and-fast rule. You can come alone if you want to, but I didn’t want you to be taken unaware.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Is there any chance you can come?” Quinn asks quietly.
“Yes, I’ll be there.” I say it quickly, before I can change my mind or think about it for too long. Otherwise, I’ll talk myself out of it. My best friend wants me at her baby shower. Of course I’ll be there.
So will Sawyer.
So will Ren.
“I’ll bring Ren if he can come.”
I’m sure he’ll go with me. He knows how hard it would be for me to face it alone.
It’ll be interesting, to say the least. It’s necessary, though. At some point, we’ll all be in the same room together. It might as well happen sooner rather than later. I need to face Sawyer and get it over with. It’s just that he was brimming with anger last time I saw him. For good reason. I’d done some pretty horrible things to Quinn and to try to monopolize his attention.
“Thanks, Bree. I knew you’d come.” She sounds relieved.
I love that she doesn’t patronize me with sickly sentiments designed to make me feel better about being unable to have children of my own. She knows I hate being treated with kid gloves. If someone wants to invite me to their baby shower, then I want them to do it. Leaving me out because they’re worried I’ll be uncomfortable makes it worse. I don’t want anyone to watch their words around me or never talk about their children around me. That’s a dagger to my heart that never stops twisting.
Quinn has always included me in her maternal experiences and she doesn’t hold back. It’s so refreshing. Of course, she has the advantage because she knows me so well and knows how I feel about the matter. I shouldn’t fault other people for trying to be sensitive to my issues.
I’m trying to soften my inner Scarlett, but it’s not easy. I am who I am. Still, I know I’ve been subdued for a while now as I undergo a bit of a metamorphosis. That’s okay. I like the person I’m becoming. Change for the better is always good, albeit hard.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I say. Not entirely true. Maybe mostly true.
“By the way, it’s a boy,” Quinn tells me.
