Page 10 of A Me and Him Thing
I tell him what Quinn had been through and how she managed her miraculous return. He hangs on my every word.
“That’s incredible,” he says, disbelief evident in the tone of his voice.
“The story doesn’t end there.” I keep going, holding nothing back. He’s getting the “warts and all” version of my story. I’ll probably never see him again anyway. I tell him how I behaved after Quinn’s return, the awful things I did and said. I leave nothing out. Tonight, I’m Bree the Bold.
“I was horrible to my best friend. My behavior was inexcusable. I knew it was wrong, yet I couldn’t stop myself. I saw all my dreams disappear in one blinding moment. I turned into a raving lunatic for about twenty-four hours, fighting for something that was never really mine to begin with. I don’t know what came over me. But I don’t want to be that person ever again.”
Ren appears to be deep in thought. “You know, I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself. You were in an impossible situation. You were hurting, losing everything. I’m sure everyone’s emotions were out of control. No one can predict how they would behave in such hard circumstances. I think you need to forgive yourself, let it go.”
I smile sadly. It’s too late for Ren to be an innocent bystander. Already, he’s totally on my side. I love him for it.
“Quinn and I haven’t spoken since it happened. I miss her so much.”
“Interesting,” Ren remarks slowly.
“What’s interesting?” Our eyes meet again.
“You miss Quinn, but you haven’t mentioned missing Sawyer.”
“Yeah, I guess that says it all right there. Don’t get me wrong, I was in love with him. But what I really loved was Sawyer and Quinn. I lovedtheirlove story. I was wrong to try and make it mine. I realize that now. But it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“I often wonder if Sawyer and I would’ve made it. I have my doubts. We were both grasping for something to make us happy. In the end, I think we both would’ve been disappointed. But we would’ve faked it, just to keep up appearances. Not a good foundation for a marriage.”
“No.” Ren maintains eye contact with me.
“At any rate, I’m still recovering, regaining my balance, and learning to live again. Trying to change and be a better person. More of a Melanie. It’s a journey, and I’m still on the path.”
“I don’t think you should try to be someone you’re not. I like who you are. I enjoyed sparring with you tonight. But knowing you made mistakes is the first and hardest step. You’re trying to right your wrongs. That takes bravery. You’re doing better than you think.”
A knock on my window startles us both.
He glances at his watch and raises his eyebrows. “You won the gold. It’s been almost exactly an hour. Your carriage awaits.”
I suppress a smile. This man makes me want to laugh at the oddest times. Meanwhile, he speaks as though we’re having private time in a bedroom. It gives me pause.
I still have more to say, more I want to unburden. But my time is up. Ren was right. Having someone listen to me was therapeutic, and he was a good listener. It felt so good to have someone confirm what a difficult situation I had been in. Just what I needed.
It doesn’t make my behavior okay, but it feels so good to have another human being agree that it was a tough spot to be in.
I climb out of my car and come face-to-face with a heavily tattooed, bearded, and pierced man. Now I realize those things don’t make him a bad person. For all I know, he’s a dedicated family man with six kids at home. But I still don’t want to get into that tow truck with him. Not at all. He’s my ride home, though. Good thing my pepper spray is tucked into my purse. I might need it. I’m always prepared to defend myself if need be. I only have myself to rely on.
“Can you take my car to Boyd’s Automotive?” I ask firmly.
“Sure, lady, no problem. Where do you live?”
I’m loath to tell him where I live. When Ren speaks up, I don’t need to.
“I’ll be escorting the lady home. We only need you to take care of the car.”
I don’t act surprised or question Ren. I’d rather he take me home. I guess I did need to be rescued this evening. In more ways than one.
I’m okay with that.Just this once.My middle name should’ve been Independence. I’m not letting go of it.
The tow truck driver takes a seat in my car, trying the ignition a few times. You know, because a man can get a car to start, but a woman can’t. Makes me burn inside.
“Think it’s just the battery,” he says. “Maybe, maybe not. Not sure. But no place is open at this time of night to get you a new one. Could give you a jump. But you might just get stranded again. I’ll take it in to Boyd’s.”
