Page 22 of A Me and Him Thing
Ren takes me to a restaurant that’s only a few blocks away. I’d passed by it a few times before, thinking it was just a used bookstore. It’s not. It’sbotha used bookstoreandrestaurant. It has dining tables between the bookshelves. You’re encouragedto browse through the old books while you eat. It’s definitely quirky.
I love it.
We dine on chopped salad featuring the freshest ingredients the chef could find at the farmers market that morning. The use of fresh herbs makes every bite an explosion of flavors in my mouth.
“You never know what the chopped salad will feature. It’s a surprise every time I come,” Ren tells me with his bedroom voice.
“It’s delicious.” On the side are homemade crackers with preserves.
We eat quickly, enjoying every bite.
“How’s your car?” Ren asks.
“Back in my possession. As suspected, it needed a new battery. An easy fix.”
“Did they check everything? Are they sure?”
I set my fork down. “Yes. My car’s in good shape. It’s only a few years old.”
His expression is a mask of worry. “I don’t want you to get stranded again.”
“I won’t. It’s good as new. Purring like a kitten.” I don’t seem to be very convincing.
“They might’ve overlooked something.”
“Ren, it’s fine.”
“I could have my mechanic take a look at it, give it a once-over. Make sure everything is really okay. He’s very thorough. With the traffic around here and the go-faster nature of the freeways, you don’t want to have anything go wrong with your car at the wrong moment.”
So sweet, but he needs to stop. “You could also watch out for logs.”
He sits back, links his hands behind his head, and chuckles. “Caught in the act.”
“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Been doing it for years.”
“I know you can.” He leans forward, his forearms resting on the table. “You’re not alone, Bree. Let me care about you. That’s what friends are for.”
I sort of love intense Ren. His dark eyes glitter with emotion, and it makes me wonder what he’s thinking. The mention of the F word, however, is like a splash of cold water on my soul. Even though that’s what I want. Right? Of course.
Still. I hate the F word.
Ren’s eyes never leave mine. “Do you know what they do in parts of South Africa if you commit some sort of wrongdoing?” Ren asks me, but he doesn’t wait for an answer to his unexpected question. “They make you stand in the center of the village while the tribe stands around you for two days, constantly praising you for the good you’ve done in life. They believe this has the power to change people for the good. They believe it works better than shame and punishment. You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think you need your tribe to surround you and tell you how wonderful you are. Every second of every day. You need to understand your worth. Then you’ll let people in, let them care for you.”
I fold my hands in my lap to hide the tremble his words evoke.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Bree. More importantly, you have a transparent heart. From the moment I met you I could see you were someone who feels deeply, loves deeply. I can’t explain it. It’s as if it’s in the air around you, a feeling of need, a feeling of love that’s brimming inside of you, just waiting to be released and bestowed on someone. You can’t hide it. It’s there. Then I heard what you’d done for your best friend, the wayyou sacrificed your life to care for her children, and my feelings were confirmed. You hide your true nature behind a sarcastic tongue, but I see the real you. The woman who loves wholly and unconditionally. Everyone makes mistakes in life. Don’t let them become who you are. Rise above them. There’s so much more to you.”
Every part of me goes still. I swear, even the blood in my veins comes to a grinding halt.
I’m going to cry. Right here in this trendy little restaurant. I’m going to break down and bawl like a baby. It’ll be an ugly cry too, not dainty and sweet tears softly running down my cheeks. Nope. I’m going to sob, forcefully and violently.
But I won’t allow it to happen. No way. I’ll save it for later, in the privacy of my own home.
I lower my head, wiping away the gathering tears. I breathe in and out, taking several deep, cleansing breaths.
