Page 15 of A Me and Him Thing
So he’s divorced and has two kids. He’s satisfied with what he has. Not being able to have children hadn’t been an issue for Sawyer either. He was content with his twin girls.
“So you’re okay with it?” I ask. I admit, I’m grateful he lightened the moment. But I need to know how he feels about the subject. I refuse to set myself up for heartbreak again. Even though we’ve set the friendship boundary in place, a man and a woman spending time together is bound to go places they never intended. I want to be prepared for that possibility.
Ren studies me. “The question is, are you okay with it?”
My face flashes with heat. “No one’s ever asked me that before.”
“Seems like your feelings are paramount in this situation. That’s a hard thing for a woman to face.”
My eyes fill with unshed tears, but I don’t let them fall. It takes a lot of self-control to not collapse onto the floor, curl into a ball, and weep. It’s the response I’ve longed for but never found. It touches my heart in ways I can’t verbalize.
“Thank you for saying that, Ren.”
He nods in response.
“No, I’m not okay with it. I’ve always wanted a family of my own.” I miss Josie and Jordyn something fierce. They filled an ache in my heart. Without them, the ache is back in full force. I bought myself a cat, hoping it would help. She merely puts a bandage on my pain.
Ren sets his fork down slowly, as though he’s thinking about what he wants to say. “I think adoption is a beautiful thing. My mother was adopted, and it totally changed her life for the better. She had a very happy childhood. I’m a fan.”
He’s been touched by adoption and understands it. Caring for Josie and Jordyn gave me the understanding I needed. Now Iknow that I can easily give my heart to a child who is not my own biologically.
“So hypothetically, if you married a woman who couldn’t have children, you’d be happy with adoption?”
His direct gaze hits me with force. “I would be thrilled to adopt several more children.”
Speechless. Again.
I don’t know him well enough. He must have faults. Many of them. I just can’t see a single one right now.
It’s the middle of the night. I’m tired, weak, disclosing things I wouldn’t normally share. The cloak of darkness is working strange magic around us.
I’m not ready for a new relationship, but my thoughts are all over the place. I sort of want to tackle him in this vinyl booth and kiss his full lips until neither of us can breathe. Maybe never come up for air.
This is crazy.
Chapter Four
“HELLO?” I CROAK.
“Hey, when are you going for your run today?”
“Ren?”
“Were you expecting someone else?”
“No. But we just said goodbye like four hours ago. Don’t you sleep?”
“Yes. Been there, done that. I’m ready to go on my run. Want to go together?”
“I’m hanging up now. Call me in another five hours.” I tap End Call and toss my phone on the nightstand. It lands on the letter from Quinn that I forgot to put away in the nightstand drawer last night. I may or may not have read it several times before finally falling asleep. My cheeks feel crusty from tears.
I collapse onto my pillow, in desperate need of more sleep. My feline friend hisses her disapproval at being disturbed in the middle of her all-day-long nap.
She’s so in love with me. She’s just playing hard to get.
My lips form into a smile. My last thought as I fell asleep last night was wondering if Ren would call, wondering if I’d ever hear from him again.
The answer is yes. I tell myself I’m only happy because I need a friend. I think I even fool myself into believing it.
