Page 90 of A Me and You Thing
“I appreciate that, but the message I’m hearing is,she’s home and you no longer exist.That’s brutal honesty all right.”
“It’s not like that.”
Bree disconnects herself from Sawyer and takes a step back. She covers her eyes with her hands. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you too.”
I study Sawyer’s face and realize she’s right. This is hard for him. He’s choosing me. I should feel happy. I should be thrilled.
But I’m not. On the contrary, this is torture.
Bree faces Sawyer again, but they don’t hold hands. “She’s not the same, you know. She suffered a major head injury and lost her memories. Does she have the ability to think clearly? Is she fit to care for Josie and Jordyn? Have you thought about that? What if she forgets to feed them or to watch them or forgets she has children altogether? You don’t know the extent of her injuries or what the long-lasting effects will be. You don’t even know if she has it in her to be a wife to you.”
That hits home. Her thoughts reflect my own worries. I wonder if I’m different and don’t realize it.
I closely observe Sawyer’s response. Does he feel the same? He runs his hands through his hair. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him so upset. “The doctor said she’s fine. There will be a recovery period, yes, but she’s fine. She’s been through a horrible ordeal. I don’t expect her to be the same. But I know she’ll be a good mother and wife.”
“You don’t know that for sure. You can’t possibly know that. None of us do.” Blunt Bree. I used to love her forthright nature. Not so much right about now.
Sawyer looks down at the ground and does not defend me. Silent tears slip down my cheeks without my permission. Is he wondering if I’m capable of taking care of my daughters? Is it weighing on him? I don’t want to hear this. I’m better off not knowing. I long to be blissfully ignorant.
Too late.
Bree lets out a huge sigh and approaches Sawyer, standing close and implying an ease between them that I’m not ready to accept. “I can’t believe this is happening. Everything was so perfect. I’ve given you two years of my life. You can’t just dismiss me and pretend like nothing has happened between us. It doesn’t work like that. You’re an engaged man. That can’t change in a blink of an eye.” She pauses. “Tell me something. Be honest. Have you... kissed her? Because you sure haven’t kissed me since she returned.”
“She’s my wife,” he whispers succinctly.
I now know the real reason why Sawyer is physically hesitant around me. He’s not completely free. That explains his desire to be noble.
Sawyer envelops Bree in an embrace when she starts to cry, holding her tenderly while he rubs her back.
And I see my sweet life crumbling around me.
My friendship with Bree will never be the same. Of that, I’m certain. No wonder she didn’t join everyone in my bedroom today. My return has ruined all of her plans.
I hear Sawyer say, “I’m sorry, Bree. I really am. I’m so, so sorry.”
His remorse is like a dagger to my heart. Does he really want Bree? Is he just trying to do the right thing? Is he ignoring his own desires because I’ve returned home and he feels trapped? I’m the wrench in their plans, preventing their marital bliss.
“I know you are, Sawyer. I am too. Listen, I can’t leave Josie and Jordyn alone with her if it’s not safe. I love those little girls. They’re like my own daughters now.”
Whoa, those are fighting words. I’m hit with the recollection of Bree sitting in this very living room, playing with my babies and saying,“I will have this one day, Quinn.”
At the time, she didn’t mean it literally, but the memory feels prophetic now.
Sawyer doesn’t respond, and Bree continues. “We can’t keep this from her. I know you’re trying to keep her life stress free, but the longer you don’t tell her, the worse the news will be. She’ll find out, you know. Shewillknow about us.”
“She knows,” I say, startling them both—and myself.
They nearly jump out of their skin as they turn and look at me with deer in the headlight’s expressions. They both look mortified by my presence. They thought they were down here having their secret whisper fight and that I was upstairs blissfully sleeping the night away, the ignorant and possibly crazy ex-dead wife.
Nope. The wife knows everything now. Or am I the other woman? I don’t know anymore.
“Quinn,” Sawyer says. And there’s anguish in that one simple word. Extreme anguish.
I don’t even glance at Bree. My eyes are only for him. I can’t hide my devastation, no matter how hard I try. The tears are spilling down my cheeks, and my face crumples. Maybe I was better off dead. I’m not meant to witness my husband after he’s fallen in love with someone else. It’s too much.
He shakes his head in the negative. “Quinn... no.”
No, what? No, I didn’t want you to hear this? No, I didn’t want you to know about us? No, this is not what you think? No, don’t cry? I can’t look at him anymore and my eyes land on Bree. One hand is holding her forehead, a physical distress signal. I’m wearing Sawyer’s shirt and that’s all, making me look like I belong to him and implying intimacy we have yet to share once again.
