Page 83 of A Me and You Thing
Still, I feel a little self-conscious. “I’m so thin.”
“I love you so much, Quinn, just as you are. You have no idea.”
I smile because I love those words. He can’t say them enough. “I love you, Sawyer.”
He moves behind me and gently runs his hands through my hair, moving it to one side. “You’re so beautiful.” His hands glide over my back, then he holds my bare shoulders as he leans forward and kisses the nape of my neck. I feel his hot breath whisper against my skin and I shiver.
The shiver is my undoing. It’s like I just poured a bucket of cold water over him.
“You’re shivering, Quinn. I’m sorry, you must be cold.”
Heaven forbid, I might catch a chill. I love the way he’s tending to my every need. It’s sweet and shows how much he cares. But I liked where things were headed, and he just switched gears on me. Very abruptly.
He chastely places the t-shirt over my head from behind and slips it on. Okay. Guess I’m sleeping in my bra. He moves to the bed and pulls the covers aside.
I remove my pants and set them on the chair with my blouse. My only clothes. He doesn’t avert his gaze, and I see interest in his eyes.
I climb into our bed and sink into its softness with an audible sigh. I swear my own bed has healing properties like nothing else. He pulls the covers up to my neck, as though I’m a little child he’s tucking in for the night.
He sits next to me, his expression grave. “Quinn, I’m going to let you recover for now, okay? Let’s give it some time.”
My eyes blink heavily. “I don’t understand.”
“You’re recuperating. I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
“You’re not. I need you.”
“Just let me be noble, okay? It’s not easy.”
“I don’t want you to be noble.”
“I need to be. Just for a few days, Quinn.”
“It’s already been a few days. Don’t I have a say in this decision?” I want so much to feel close to him, the kind of close that only intimacy provides. Ineedhim.
He shakes his head in the negative. “No. You don’t see what I see.”
“What do you see?”
“I opened my front door the other day and I saw my supposedly dead wife standing there looking just as frail as I’ve ever seen her, yet very much alive. I saw my wife, who I have yearned for, pined for, and ached for, hanging on to her last shred of strength as she did everything she could possibly do to make it back home to me and our daughters. I have never felt sheer happiness like that in my entire life.
“Then I watched the life leave your face as you collapsed onto the floor. And I have never felt cold, hard fear like that in my entire life. You’re here and I can hardly believe it. All I want to do is make love to you and hold you in my arms and kiss you until I can’t breathe. But I’m not going to do that. Not until you’ve had some rest and regained your strength. I’m not going to do it. Please don’t ask me to.”
I take a deep breath. Oh my, I love this man. There’s a reason I fought so hard to get back to him. “Okay, I’ll rest. And I’ll get my strength back. But, can I ask you something?”
“Okay.”
I notice the slight hesitation, and I begin to wonder. What has happened in his life in the last two years? I realize I know nothing. “Me and you. Are we really okay?”
“Yes,” he says immediately. This time there’s no hesitation whatsoever. “I want you, Quinn. Don’t ever doubt it. I hate that you feel the need to ask. I’ve always wanted you. Nothing has changed. I wouldn’t tell you that I still love you if I didn’t mean it.”
That’s true. Sawyer has always been honest with me. “Sorry, I had to ask. I feel so strange. I’m trying to feel like I belong here, but it’s not easy. I feel like a freak, like everyone thinks I just climbed out of my grave or something. Everyone’s waiting for me to turn into a zombie or for an arm to fall off as I begin to rot.”
“There’s a visual.” He shakes his head and releases a small laugh. Then he turns utterly serious. “You belong here, Quinn. You’re the heart of this home, and we need you. All this time without you... I felt as though I died too.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Shh.” He places his fingers on my lips and I kiss them softly. His eyes wander down as he watches his fingers run over my lips, back and forth. He breathes in and out heavily, visibly shaken.
