Page 54 of A Me and You Thing
“That wasn’t slow. That was... crazy.”
“I love crazy.”
“I do too, but... I still don’t know if I’m coming or going. I don’t know anything.”
“You don’t have to know or decide or be certain. Just let yourself feel, Sawyer. See where it takes you... see where it takes us.”
“I’m still...”
“I know. Don’t say it. I know where you stand. I know how hard this is for you. But I’m here, and I love you, Sawyer. Do you hear me? I love you.”
He’s breathing hard, but he nods as if we now have an understanding between us.
It may be fragile, but it’s real. “You don’t have to love me more, you just have to love me.”
Chapter Seventeen
Sawyer
“HOW ABOUTSOMETHING Borrowed?” Bree suggests.
“Only if you shoot me first.”
She laughs and clicks the remote to another set of mind-numbing movies.
I place my arm around Bree, and her head rests on my shoulder. It feels good. I think we both crave company.
Human nature. We’re not meant to be alone.
It has become a habit to watch a movie together in the evenings after we’ve put the girls to bed. It takes us thirty minutes of searching Netflix to settle on a movie we’re both interested in. Or both pretending to be interested in. It’s just part of the evening ritual.
It’s nice. I enjoy the companionship. The alone feeling that made me feel as though I was drowning is slowly melting away. Bree is sneaking her way into my heart.
It’s a slow burn. I’ve only kissed her once.Once. It’s been somewhere around three months since that day I threw caution to the wind and kissed her. It’s not that I didn’t like it. It just felt weird to kiss someone other than Quinn.
I apologized the next day for my behavior. I knew she was disappointed, but I pretended as though I was clueless. I’ve been hiding behind ignorance ever since.
My mind is switching gears and changing direction, yet fighting the transformation every step of the way. First, I had to ward off the feelings of guilt associated with falling for Quinn’s best friend. It felt so wrong at first. It still niggles in the back of my mind.
It’s been nineteen long months since the day I lost Quinn. Plus three days, six hours, ten minutes, and twenty-three seconds. At least, that’s how it feels. If it weren’t for the fact that Bree lives in my house and has practically fallen into my lap, I doubt I would be pursuing another woman yet. Bree is making it easy for me.
Or maybe she’s making it harder. I feel so hesitant. Maybe it’s just too soon.
Or maybe I just need to take a chance. I’m tired of beingthe man who lost his wife. I don’t want it to define me forever.
“The Mirror has Two Faces?” Bree suggests.
“Seriously?”
“Hey, it’s Streisand at her best. It’s about dating and finding love. You might learn a thing or two.”
“Doubt that,” I say, deadpan. We play this game every night, making fun of each other’s choices. I admit, I look forward to her banter. She’s always been a sassy little thing. Although, since we lost Quinn that side of her has been a bit concealed. It’s starting to emerge again. I enjoy the challenge of trying to keep up with her.
It’s not lost on me that she thinks I need to learn a thing or two about dating. I’ve been moving so slow with her, it’s almost verging on ridiculous. Frankly, learning to love someone new is tough. Deep down, I still want Quinn. I’m not really sure how to change that. I’m not so sure I want to change it. I think I need to accept that it will never change and move forward anyway.
“Ooo, here we go, how aboutThe Way Way Back?”
“Seen it. Several times, actually. Quinn loved Sam Rockwell. She thought he was hilarious.”
