Page 31 of Desire
As soon as my face hit the cold, I put Rod’s last comment out of my mind. It was freezing outside. I hugged myself tightly as Rod guided us to our limousine. He took off his coat and laid it over mine, giving me an extra layer of warmth.
“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,”I said, postured to give him his coat back.
“No, you keep it. I’m from Alaska. The cold is going to have to do better than this to get to me.”
We chuckled. I forgot how charming he was. If only Jasper were that amiable. Rod even took the driver’s place and held the back door open for me.
“Thanks,” I said as I entered.
“My pleasure.” His tone was flirty, and so was theway he watched me with raised eyebrows.
I felt confused. Shouldn’t I let myself enjoy a night out with a handsome man? I smiled at him as he slid into the back seat with me. He was clearly happy to be seen with me. Ever since I’d started my association with Jasper, I felt as though I were his dirty little secret. Even the way he’d shown up at my room earlier in the day, kissed me, askeda bunch of questions, and then slipped out had rubbed me the wrong way.
“So, how’ve you been, Holly?” Rod asked as the car pulled away from the curb.
“I’ve been well,” I said because it was the customary reply. “And you?”
He smiled. “I’m well. You really do look beautiful tonight.”
I blushed because of the way he was watching me. There was a sweetness to it. When Jaspergazed at me, I saw something intense, burning with fire and desire. It was as though the simple fact that he wanted me so much made him angry. As long as I lived, I would never be able to fully figure out Jasper Christmas. He was the abyss, the dark sea, and buried in his depths were treasures—wonderful, beautiful treasures.
“Thank you.” I pointed my hand at him. “So do you.”
Rodtossed his head back and laughed as though I had said something terribly entertaining. It was then that I realized he was very nervous. We had history, and I was certain his goal was to rekindle our past, which hadn’t ended on a high note.
When we met at the conference in Chicago, we had sat next to each other during the first panel of the day. There was an ease between us as we made commentsunder our breath when the silly girl fromOutlastmagazine tried to sell us on using search engines to churn out more articles. Halfway through her talk, which had been dispensed in a mind-numbing Valley-girl accent, Rod looked over both shoulders and asked out loud, “Is this for fucking real?”
I was the only one who laughed out loud. We decided to accompany each other to the next panel,which was just as asinine as the first. By the third, I realized we had attended a conference for bloggers. Our companies picked up the tab, which included room and board, so we decided to stay and make a good time of it.
Even then, I had regarded him as someone who was especially handsome. Ken dolls were based upon men who resembled him, even though he wore a little scruff on the lowerpart of his face and had windblown blond hair. The wilder parts of his appearance didn’t seem natural. It was as though he were attempting to shed his all-American-boy image.
I couldn’t remember if we’d had a deep conversation, but I did recall the fact that he’d complimented me a lot on my looks. And the more he gushed about my looks, the less authentic he became in my eyes. But he wasfun. And he talked a lot about how much I would love Alaska and how much he missed home. He asked questions about me too. I couldn’t recall them, but I remembered that every time I had answered, I’d felt as though I were failing the “my first wife” test.
By the end of the night, we had gone to my room for drinks. One thing led to another, and we started kissing. Then we had the most awkwardsex ever. I remembered saying “ouch” a lot. He directed me left and right. He spent most of the night trying to keep his dick from softening. And he assured me that it wasn’t me; it was him. I really didn’t care who it was. I figured it had just been a severe lack of sexual chemistry.
As I sat in the back seat of the limousine with him, I wondered if he remembered that night. I was surprisedit hadn’t turned him off so much that he never wanted to see me again.
“By the way,” I said after a question dropped out of the blue and into my head. “How did you know I was staying at the hotel, let alone my room number?”
Rod kept his eyes cast down as he grinned. “I saw you at the counter checking in earlier.” Then he abruptly shifted in his seat. “Hey, I wanted to congratulateyou onThe Howsley ProjectandIn Defense of Bad Air. Two times out of the gate, you hit all the major best-seller lists.”
I smiled graciously. “Thanks.”
“So, are you seeing anyone?” he asked.
I felt a pinch of discomfort because I hadn’t expected that question. One face came to mind, which made me say, “Nope.” Suddenly, I felt as if I had just told a big fat lie.
He grunted, intrigued. “I can’t believe you’re still single,” he said as if my relationship status were the oddest thing he’d ever heard.
For some reason, I felt as if I would be more honest if I found a way to mention my encounters with Jasper. “Well, I just got out of a relationship. A hot but short one.”
Shit, now the lust was back in his eyes.
“Damn, he was a lucky man.Remember the night we tried to fuck?” he asked.
I wanted to run and hide as I swallowed hard. “I do.” I was barely audible.
He smirked. “I’m more experienced now.”
